I probably was.
If I had half a brain, I would just slip out and disappear. Nobody would miss me. I wasn’t remarkable like everyone here. I wasn’t larger than life. I wasn’t proficient in anything. I knew how to fuck. That was it. My whole life, I was bred, trained, coerced, and beaten to do whatever it was a man or woman wanted in bed. There were things I knew to do that still made me blush, and I was the one performing those duties.
I wasn’t educated like everyone else. I was forced to drop out shortly after my mother died, when we moved to Louisiana. I loved school, and I hoped one day I would return and get my high school diploma. College was a dream. A great plan that I prayed one day I might be able to experience, but knowing my life and what I’ve been through college was just a pipe dream.
After using the bathroom, I slipped on my shoes and headed for the door. I didn’t know what Max was going to say or do, but I braced myself for the inevitable. The fact was Max needed a woman who was everything I wasn’t. I knew that going in. I wasn’t ever going to be good enough. He got his fill, and God forgive me; I coerced him into it.
It was all my fault.
Opening the door, I found Hellhound right where he said he was going to be. I didn’t say a word as I quietly closed the door and followed him down the stairs, across the clubhouse common room, down a long hall to a solid oak door with a sign above it that clearly said Chapel. Opening the door for me, I found Max sitting at the head of the table, surrounded by his officers. All of them.
When the door closed behind me, I turned to see no one. Not even Hellhound would be in here to hear or see my disgrace. Only Max’s trusted officers, including Healer, who already knew what happened, medically that was.
“Baby come sit by here,” Max said, standing and holding the lone empty chair next to him for me. Doing as he requested, I walked around the table, my head held high. I knew it was coming. I just wished Max had done it in private. I was already embarrassed enough. I didn’t need salt rubbed in the wounds. But if this was how he wanted it done, then I wouldn’t say a word. This was his house, his club, his friends. I was only grateful he let me be a part of it for a while.
Sitting where he said, Max took his seat and reached for my hand.
Jumping at the contact, I slipped my hand under the table and waited.
“Remi, are you okay?” Max whispered quietly to me.
Nodding, I said nothing and looked straight ahead.
“Remi, I asked you in here because the men in this room are the ones I trust the most. Since you arrived, I’ve had each of them looking into your past and the people who took you. Some of the stuff we found I won’t bother telling you about, but the other stuff, well, that’s why you’re here. It has come to our attention that you are not the biological daughter of David and Kelly Halcomb.”
What?
Wait a minute?
He wasn’t asking me to leave.
He was talking about my parents.
My shock apparent, I gasped and looked at Max. My body was trembling. What did he mean? Weren’t they my parents? I didn’t understand. I looked just like my mother. We had the same hair, eyes, skin tone. We even laughed the same.
“Baby, your shaking,” Max said, kneeling before me, taking my hands in his. “Talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
Shaking my head, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. It hurt too much to think about leaving. I wanted to stay. To be with Max forever. To live and take care of him and the men of the Golden Skulls. I dreamt about it since I was eight years old. I felt safe with them. I can’t leave. I just can’t.
“Take a deep breath, Remi,” Healer said, moving to stand behind me, rubbing my shoulders. “You’re hyperventilating. Take a deep breath for me. That’s it. In and out. Good girl. Your safe here. No one will hurt you. Isn’t that right, Reaper.”
“Healer’s right baby. You are safe. Just breathe.”
Gasping for air, I spoke, “I thought you brought me in here to ask me to leave.”
“What?” Reaper said, shocked. “Why would you think that baby? I want you with me always and forever.”
“You mean that?”
Smiling, Reaper nodded. “I pinky promise.”
Hugging him tightly, I cried into his neck, never wanting to let him go. He kept my nightmares at bay. I needed him so badly—more than he’d ever realized. I wasn’t incompetent. I just needed him to center me and accept me and all my faults.
Picking me up, Max sat back down in his chair with me in his lap, his arms around me. “Remi. I need you to listen to me. This is serious. I know you’re upset, and maybe this room wasn’t the best place to have this conversation, but I needed the security this room provided. I can’t have everyone listening in. Do you understand?”
Nodding, I looked him in the eyes. “Yes. I’m sorry I lost it like that. My mind kind of got away from me.”
“I get it. Mine does too sometimes.”