She deserved to be at my side.
I looked at the empty bottles as a flood of memories hit me. Nico’s call. Carmine’s release. The decision that led to one bottle. One bottle led to a second…
Of course.
I owed her an explanation.
My footsteps felt heavier than normal as I climbed the stairs, giving a terse greeting to the guards as I passed by. I knew I looked like shit, and I felt like it, too, but my gut kept urging me to get to Leda, to see what I had done.
I found my bedroom door closed, and when I rattled the knob, it didn’t open. “Leda!” I yelled, pounding my fist on the door. “Open the fucking door!”
When she didn’t answer, I felt fear creep up my spine. What if she had locked me out because whatever I had done to her had made her reconsider?
No. Leda wouldn’t do that.
Finally, the door opened.
“What are you doing?” she demanded, the blanket wrapped around her. Her eyes narrowed when she saw me standing there.
Relief flooded my body and I straightened, ignoring the pounding in my temple. “You locked the door.”
Leda took one look at me and let out a hollow laugh. “Youlocked the door, Lucas, not me. You locked mein.”
My tongue suddenly felt thick and stuck to the roof of my mouth. She looked exhausted, but it was the red-rimmed eyes that nearly undid me.
I made her cry last night.
I had hurt her in the worst way possible. I just didn’t know how deep the hurt ran. What could I have said to her? Did I tell her that I didn’t love her? Highly likely. I didn’t know how to fucking love or hadn’t until I had met her, that is. She had shown me there was more to life than just violence alone, and I didn’t want to be left in the dark again. “Leda, I—”
“What do you want?” she cut in, fisting the covers. “What do you want from me now, Lucas? Did you come back to tell me how much you didn’t care for me some more?”
Her voice cracked, and I knew immediately I had done something to her to put that bitterness in her words. What, I wasn’t sure, but whatever it had been, it wasn’t anything good. “I’m sorry,” I finally said, the words hollow to my ears. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Leda flung the covers back and climbed out of bed, her movements jerky and worrying me even further. “What exactly are you apologizing for, Lucas? Tell me.”
I couldn’t. Clenching my jaw, I watched as she came to stand before me, her own eyes flashing with anger and hurt, hurt I had put there. Everything had been going so fucking well until her brother had called me, and now I had fucked it up with her.
But as I gazed at her, I realized that there was something about Leda that had changed lately.
“Well?” she shouted again. “Or do you not remember what you did to me last night?”
I gave her a glance, looking for any sign of injury that I could have caused her. If I had hurt her physically, I would never forgive myself.
Seeing none, a tendril of relief loosened in my chest, and I found it a bit easier to breathe. I had never done something like that before, and the last person I would physically harm would be Leda. It was my fucking job to protect her, yet here I was, hurting her in ways I couldn’t remember.
Still, in the morning light I saw the fullness of her face, the way her breasts were barely contained in the strappy tank she was wearing. My cock surged to attention, and I gritted my teeth. Between the ache in my head and now in my cock, I was in pain.
“You can’t, can you?” she shook her head.
Something inside me withered and died from the scathing look she gave me. Leda had never looked at me with such disgust before, and she was the last person I wanted to see that look from.
She was supposed to be on my side, to not hold anything in my past against me, but now my past was the least of my concerns.
It was my future I was worried about, and in the state that Leda was in right now, I couldn’t just whip out a diamond and expect her to take it.
As angry as Leda was at me, I had never seen anything that looked so gorgeous. Her skin was flushed like it was after we had a romp in my fucking bed. Her eyes flashed with anger, but there was the spark there that I loved, the one that kept me coming back for more.
She was willing to meet me toe to toe, and that was how I knew Leda was likely the only one for me.