So, I was stealing moments just in case. Yesterday I should have been at my desk, working my ass off to find a way to keep us safe, but I had instead spent the day in bed with her. Today was much the same. I wanted to be close to Leda, to draw on her strength. She had no fucking idea what she had done to me yesterday, readily accepting the ugliness.
I wouldn’t ever be able to repay her.
“We had woods behind my father’s estate,” Leda said as we moved through the trees. “Nico and I used to go hide back there when he was on one of his tirades. We’d pretend that the cops had found us and that we had to run.”
Well, hell. Of course I would pick something that would be a bad memory for her. Swallowing, I clenched her hand in mine. “I’m sorry.”
She halted my steps, her eyes searching mine. “For what?”
“For bringing up a bad memory,” I told her. “We can turn back.”
Leda shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. This is great, Lucas. We should replace the bad memories with the good ones so that we can move past them. I love being out here with you.”
I looked down at her, my mind racing with thoughts about a future with her. If we survived this and I was able to come out on top, would she want to live here or near the ocean?
Would she want kids? Suddenly I was picturing a dark-haired girl who would have me wrapped around her finger or a devious little boy that I would forever have to chase. I had never thought about children with anyone before, thinking that I wasn’t going to settle down like that.
But Leda made me want to settle. “Are you okay?” she asked, her brow furrowing with concern.
“I’m fine,” I told her. We were a long way from the kids discussion. Hell, I hadn’t even thought about marrying her yet.
Okay, maybe I had thought about it.
She gave me one final look before we continued on. “Can I ask you a question?” she said after a while.
“Sure.” I mean, I had nothing else to hide from her. She knew everything about me, and it didn’t feel wrong.
Instead, it felt right, far too right.
“Do you regret it?”
I swallowed. “Regret what?” There were all sorts of things I regretted, things that I had done that I couldn’t erase from my soul. Some of it had been at the hands of my own thoughts, while others had been a directive from Cosimo himself. Proving my worth to him had come with blurring the lines of what was right and what was wrong.
One thing I would never regret was the night that I purchased her. I shuddered to think of where I might be if Leda hadn’t come into my life, even though it hadn’t been all sunshine and roses since the day she had joined my miserable existence. She might regret it, but I never would, even if I lost her in the end.
It had been worth it.
Leda sighed, rubbing her thumb over mine idly. “Regret everything you have been through. I used to regret ever being born a D’Agostino, especially when I would go to school functions and watch the other parents interact with their children. My father would always send my nanny to those things, but I hated the looks.” She drew in a breath. “I mean, I was glad he hadn’t gone with me, but it would have been nice to have a father that actually cared.”
It seemed that Leda and I had way more in common than I had realized. My mom had sold me for a hit, a hit that would later kill her, her body found in a gutter, dead from an overdose. Leda’s father had sold her as well, and I had just been the bastard to take her from that marriage and put her into this shit. “I don’t regret it,” I said after a few moments, distracted by the way her thumb was caressing mine. Every touch Leda gave me was healing me from the inside. “If I did, it wouldn’t serve any purpose.”
“True,” Leda admitted. “I guess it all happens for a reason.”
Tugging on her hand, I pulled her toward another path. “I want to show you something.”
“All right.”
When we reached the clearing, I heard Leda’s sharp intake. “What did you do, Lucas?”
I dropped the pack next to the bedding, my face burning. After yesterday, I wanted to show Leda that I appreciated what she had done, and so I had left the bed early this morning, setting up this impromptu picnic in the clearing. There were pillows strewn about, giving us a comfortable place to settle, and as I opened the pack, I removed the bottle of champagne, along with a container that held cheese and crackers. “I thought we would have a picnic.”
When Leda turned to me, I saw tears in her eyes. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She threw herself at me, her arms tight around my neck. “No one has ever done anything like this before,” she breathed against my neck. “This is amazing.”
Hell, there were a lot better things I could give her than a fucking picnic in the woods, but maybe I would get the chance.
I wanted the chance. I deserved the chance.