Something had passed between us tonight, something that was hard to process, and right now, I didn’t want him here. I wanted to be alone.
“Just leave,” I said tiredly, biting my lip and looking out over the city. “Please.”
I felt Lucas draw close to me, and his lips brushed my temple. It was a tender gesture, one that brought tears to my eyes.
But before I could say anything, he was gone, and the terrace door closed a moment later.
Chapter 52
Leda
I didn’t say anything as he walked back into the penthouse, waiting until it was clear that he had left before I slumped against the wall, tears falling on my cheeks. There was no doubt about it. I fell for my captor, the man who should be my sworn enemy.
I shouldn’t want him to come back and wrap me in those strong arms of his, to soothe this horrible ache inside me that I knew he caused.
I hated him and hated myself for letting this spiral out of control like it had. Maybe if it hadn’t done so, I wouldn’t have just lost the last piece of my heart that I had been holding onto.
I angrily wiped at the tears with my hands, leaving my torn yoga pants on the floor as I stripped off the remainder of my clothing and slid into the hot tub, hissing as my sore body collided with the hot water. I tried not to think about where Lucas would be staying the night again, much like I had thought about last night, or if he was going to be safe.
Of course he was safe. He had his guards, but my heart still worried, and I hated it.
Reaching up, I touched the cheek he had slapped. Normally I would have been appalled by his slap. But this was different.
There had been a look of horror on Lucas’s face when I looked down immediately after the slap. That look told me that he hadn’t done it in any other manner other than losing momentary control. I doubted he would raise a hand to me again unless I asked him to.
And the kiss he left on my temple afterwards. There was still affection in him. Deep down, I knew he cared for me. Maybe it wasn’t love like normal people had, but it was his own fucked up way of telling me he loved me. I knew that.
It elated me and saddened me both at the same time. Mainly because I knew I never had all of Lucas. There was a piece of him that he was holding back, one that was likely the culprit for the past twenty-four hours.
So, what was I going to do about it?
The stars twinkled in the sky overhead as I leaned back, sliding my entire body into the hot tub. That was the problem. I didn’t know what I was going to do with Lucas, with any of this. What if, after tonight, Lucas turned around and gave me over to my father as he had planned?
What if he decided that I wasn’t worth the trouble?
My heart, my entire existence, wouldn’t be able to take it.
“Oh God,” I whispered, closing my eyes against the new onslaught of tears. I didn’t belong here.
I didn’t belong anywhere.
Everything was still up in the air regarding not only this precarious situation I found myself in with Lucas, but also the small chance that he might not want me around. And that meant I would be turned back over to my father.
No. No, I couldn’t let that happen.
By now my father must have known what was going on, what Lucas had done, and more importantly, what he had done to me. I was soiled goods, no longer the good little Mafia daughter that would have been a prize catch for her handpicked husband.
He would likely kill me after he killed Lucas first. The thought caused me to swallow hard. I had to protect the Don that had bought me.
Lucas didn’t know who he was up against in my father. Even from behind the iron bars, Carmine D’Agostino was dangerous.
I couldn’t let anything happen to Lucas, which meant I had to fight like hell to stay in his life. This had only been the beginning of something between us. It had to be.
The storm of thoughts that swirled in me when he slapped me returned, and I confronted the ugly reality before me: I was in love with him.
“Ugh,” I groaned, pushing myself out of the hot tub and grabbing one of the nearby towels already laid out.
I needed to pull myself together for when Lucas did come back, because he had promised that he would. This wasn’t over between us.