He groaned and walked out of the room. I listened to him go down the stairs. There was mumbled conversation then he was back. He handed me my shirt, and I pulled it on as he got dressed and headed back to the guys.
The room fell silent as we walked in. I settled into the armchair safely away from the rest of them, forcing Vince to sit next to Gavin on the smaller couch.
Between Noah and Sky, Luca was holding a bag of ice against his jaw, glaring at Vince. Judging by Sky’s pursed lips, I knew he was fighting back his laughter. At least there was one of them that could see the humor in any situation.
“We came to apologize,” Noah started. He glanced at Luca and continued when he made no effort to speak. “We know what we did was wrong, Ave. We were being selfish and acting out of fear. I know that’s no excuse. You always ask us to be honest and to come directly to you, and we didn’t.”
Sky nodded. “It wasn’t fair to you, but the council doesn’t know about the requirements that Luca and his dad came up with. It wasn’t real, just a way to come up with excuses to keep you from meeting the other guys.”
I spoke before anyone else could add another apology. “I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. You all know how I felt about finding out and how hurt I am. Meeting the other members of the Society should be my decision and happen on my time frame.”
A few of them nodded, and I stared at Luca until he finally agreed.
“You guys don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not interested in meeting any of them for anything other than having another resource and friend in the Society. You all forget that I’m new to this world. I don’t have a wide network of contacts. Frankly, I only have you and your parents’ stories to base everything off. I trust you all, but it would only help me to meet the others.” Gavin opened his hand, but I held up my hand to stop him. “I don’t want to dwell on this. So moving forward, I’ll continue my training with Tessa and Daniel. Sky and I will train however we can for our upcoming task. When I’m ready, I’ll meet the other five teens in the area. There will be no more attempts to control or sabotage me. This is my only warning. If I find out that any of you are going behind my back like this again, I won’t forgive you.” I met and held each of their gazes until they either said yes or gave a nod.
“Now that we have that settled, can I talk to you alone?” Gavin asked me.
I stood, and we went back up to what I was starting to call my room, rather than my mom’s. I straightened the sheets and comforter before sitting at the end of the bed. Gavin hesitated before joining me.
“I have things to apologize for, and I don’t necessarily want the others to hear or know.”
My heart raced, this sounded like the beginning of a painful conversation. I tried not to think about what Vince told me. I wanted to hear it from Gavin himself. If he didn’t want me to know how self-conscious he was, then I wouldn’t bring it up. I’d just find ways to make my feelings more apparent to him.
“I know I was a jerk on the cruise, getting upset about dumb stuff. It was all jealousy. I know I shouldn’t be jealous of the guys, but I can’t help it. Then we got home, and I thought things would go back to normal, but that was impossible. Things changed on the cruise, and now we can’t go back. We’ve all moved forward—at least you and some of them did. I felt like I was stuck. I didn’t progress with you like they did. I could tell they were more confident in their relationship with you, and you were much more comfortable with them.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just didn’t feel like the same was true with you and me. I know that’s mostly my fault. I got mad about your date with Noah then the situation with Skyler.”
His cheeks reddened, and I felt some of the same embarrassment as if it had just happened. Not only had Sky and I gotten caught hooking up, but Luca saw me naked, and the guys saw the hickey I’d given Sky. It was a disaster.
“I shouldn’t have. I should have just trusted that you and I would have our time, and I did have a great day rock climbing and hanging out.”
“So what happened?”
His eyes dropped to his lap. “I have a really terrible habit of comparing myself. To the other guys, to people in my classes, to myself. I never seem to come out on top.”
I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I do the same thing, Gavin.”
His forehead wrinkled. “You do?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty hard of myself, too.”
“But you’re gorgeous and smart and funny.” He pulled his hand away. “You belong with them. They’re more worthy of you.”
“And you aren’t?”
He couldn’t really think that.
He nodded and stared at the wall across from us.
“Do you not want this, Gavin?” It hurt like a thousand cuts to even ask, but I had to know. If he didn’t want me and if he didn’t want this relationship, then it was better to end it now.
“I don’t deserve you.”
I shook my head and scooted closer, wrapping my hands around his arm. “Please don’t say or even think that, Gavin. Not only have you been my best friend since I moved here, you’re my rock. You’re the constant in my life. I need you, but more than that, I want you.”
He peeked at me out of the corner of his eyes before staring ahead. He was listening but didn’t believe me.
“If I haven’t made this so obvious and clear that it’s burned into your brain, then that’s totally my fault.” I leaned forward until he met my eyes. “I like you, Gavin. More than just a friend. I’m attracted to you in a way that is definitely not just friendly.” His lip twitched, and I continued. “You’re incredible. You’re so smart it scares me sometimes. You’re sexy as hell. Yes, you’re different from the others, but none of them are the same either. You’re all unique and perfect that way. I’m so attracted to you it’s ridiculous. I don’t always act on it though because you’re also the one I know I can lean on. I think I might do too much of that, and not enough showing you how I feel.”
He didn’t move, not even a blink as I leaned forward and kissed him. It took a second before he responded. His lips moved with mine in the most tender way I’d ever experienced. A million words were exchanged. It was me telling him how much I cared and needed him and him finally understanding.