Levin hesitated for a moment.
“Dominic said it was fine,” Enzo continued. “If it makes you feel better, you can give her your gun.”
Levin pulled his gun out and handed it to me before he pressed a fierce kiss to my temple. He headed out to wait with Dom and Vin. Fallon was on his phone outside. I assumed he was dealing with some lords’ stuff.
Probably telling them he was trying to make it work with his mystery girl.
“You never answered my questions,” Enzo said. “In the parking lot.”
I crinkled my brows at him.
“I asked if you were happy. If you’d want this life for someone else.”
I breathed out. “You’re asking for Rosalie.”
He nodded. His dark eyes were filled with so much sadness it made my heart clench.
“I’m not happy,” I whispered, the truth ugly on my tongue. “I love my kings with everything I am. They make me happy because of our love, but I’m constantly stressed out. I’m constantly being watched. Being controlled because if I step anywhere outside the kings’ reach, I could be killed. . . or worse. I have no freedom because of it. I was just a normal girl before any of this. I was going to go to college and major in something that would take me far away from my shitty life. My dad disappeared a few years ago, and my mom got wrapped up with David D’Angelou. No one even gives a shit my father is gone. Except me. And I don’t even know where to start looking for him.” I drew in a shaky breath as Enzo studied me.
I knew I was rambling, but he was the first person to ever ask me this, and I felt like I was going to burst now if I never got to answer.
“The kings have done some work to try to figure out what happened to him. No one has answers. If my father could disappear, who’s to say I’m not next. If he’s dead. . .” My voice trailed off. “So I’m not happy, Lorenzo. Not even close. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
He nodded. “I can tell, you know. You’re feisty, but I can tell your shine has been tarnished. Rosalie is a lot like you. She’s quieter though. I pray she never has to do some of the things you’ve already had to do. Or will do. She’s been through hell and back, and I fear I may be bringing it right to our doorstep.”
I nodded. At least, he was aware of that.
“Would you want this life for someone else?” he asked softly.
I licked my lips before finally answering, “I would not.”
He visibly swallowed. “I thought not.”
“But it’s ultimately her decision,” I continued, noting the turmoil on his face. “It’s hard to let go of what we love.”
“It is.” He gave me a sad smile. “The guys. They think I’m crazy for having doubts. They don’t understand anything past their love for her. I see beyond it. I see the other side. I see what could happen. I know my limits. I’d fucking break if anything happened to her. And the others?” He scoffed. “It would be complete madness. Ethan would crumble, and we’d finally lose him. I know we would. If Rosalie died, he’d follow her without question. Fox might even too. Hell, in some way, I’m sure we all would eventually. She’s not safe. I’m trying to do what I can to give her a good life. A safe life. But with us, especially me, it may not be possible.”
“Then love her while you can,” I said gently, my heart aching for all of them.
He didn’t seem like such a bad guy once I got past his rough exterior and the shit he’d done. He had a reason, which I understood now.
“And let her go if I must when the time comes,” he whispered.
“Hopefully, it won’t come to that,” I said.
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Yeah. Hopefully. God knows, I’ll try. I’m not even sure how I’m going to explain Cole being shot. She’s going to lose it. She’s already on edge about what we do. It’s been big topic of our fights as of late.”
“Tell her I’m a complete novice with a gun, and it was an accident. It’s not a lie.”
He chuckled. “That might work.”
“Sorry I’m not more help.”
“You were a lot of help. Thank you.”
“If you love her, then you’ll do what’s right by her.”
His smile cracked and fell from his lips. “Always. Even if it hurts her.”