I hesitated. Over time, she’d put aside her anger and pain but I knew she hadn’t let go of either. Maybe now her heart was open enough to hear the truth and believe it.
“Nye brought me to that uninhabited world. He said it was to track down a gang of criminals. He warned me to be on my guard because they were extremely violent. He said they’d escaped from prison and while on the run they murdered an entire family in the colony of Eridanus.
“The two young males, the ones you called Jaden and Zeke... they ambushed me. I heard you shrieking that day. Nye never mentioned a female escapee so I thought the criminals might have taken a captive somewhere along the way. I headed in the direction of the scream. They must have seen me coming. While I was following the trail they left through the jungle they doubled back and attacked. Both of them at once. I fought back—and brought them down.
“As for the old man, he died a hero. I crossed paths with a jungle beast near your cave, a giant feline as big as that Daran shifter. It sprang at me and I felled it with an arrow. Your friend must have heard it growl just before it attacked. He ran into the clearing and stopped dead when he saw me standing over the body. He’d been expecting to encounter a fierce predator, not an alien tracker twice his size. But he never faltered. He came right at me. Fought like the valiant warrior he was.”
I took her hand. Looked her in the eyes. “I hate taking a life. But you have to believe me, Ree. I had to defend myself. Your friend Andreu meant to kill me. And when I found you, I understood why. A true warrior does not fight because he hates the enemy in front of him. He fights because he loves those he left behind. Andreu was fighting for you, Ree. He loved you. And he died with honor.”
Silent tears ran down her face but she made no move to brush them away. “All this time, part of me hated you for what you did. For who I thought you were. But now I understand. You had no choice. You’ve been their prisoner too. You let them take you—to save the ones you loved.”
“I was there, on that hunt, when the ogladon attacked my sister’s mate. Rhazi was my best friend. I tried, but I couldn’t save him. I owed a debt to his family.” I shrugged. “I paid it—with my freedom.”
Hesitantly, Ree touched the jagged scar that ran across my chest, the mark of shame I bore for my failure. “Is that how you got this?”
I gave a single nod, then turned away to hide my grief.
She took my face in her hands. Kissed me softly. “You’re right, Master. Rylan warriors are legendary.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ree
I ran, terror-stricken. Jumping over the crevices as flames seared my flesh. Shapeshifting beasts snarled and snapped at my heels. Bony hands rose up out of the fissure in front of me, trying to drag me down into the fiery depths.
“Shhh. Shhh. You’re all right.”
I cried out, struggling against the arms wrapped around me, then woke with a start.
Kaal was lying behind me, cuddling me against his warm body, soothing me past the last vestiges of my nightmare. I sagged against him, taking comfort in his presence.
All my life, I’d been a good little soldier. Left motherless at an early age, raised by a father who was loving but distant. He had worlds to save. No time to kiss away the tears of a child afraid of the invisible monster under her bed. There were too many real monsters to fight in his life. So I learned to dry my own tears and battle nighttime terrors all alone.
And Dyllan? He was my first boyfriend, the first male in my life who wasn’t too much in awe of the great Gaius DiMello to pursue his only daughter. I thought I was in love with him—and he with me. But time and experience had a way of putting things in perspective. Looking back, I could see that everything Dyllan did was aimed at impressing my father. Wooing me was a way to get closer to the center of power. He was only there for me when it met his needs.
With Kaal it was different. He didn’t care what the rebels thought of him. He didn’t have a jealous glint in his eyes when he watched them crowd around me to hear Aria DiMello, symbol of the Insurrection, speak. He cared about Ree, the woman who put up a brave front to protect a shy, lonely little girl inside.
For the first time in my life I had someone who accepted me without judgement or expectations. I could be myself around him. I’d always respected my father, put him on a pedestal. But I’d finally come to accept that he only acknowledged two emotions—righteous anger and brash confidence. It wasn’t okay to be scared or depressed or sad.
The alien lying beside me, the one I’d looked down on as a primitive creature, was more in touch with his true self than my father had ever been. He allowed me to grieve my losses and express fear about what would happen to us. I’d spent my life fighting for freedom from oppression by the Federation but Kaal gave me a kind of freedom I never knew I lacked—the freedom to be myself. And I discovered once I began expressing my negative emotions, allowing myself to feel them, I was able to get in touch with positive emotions as well.
It seemed strange considering the circumstances we were in, but some of the happiest moments of my life were spent in the asteroid prison of Zibaru. In the arms of my lover, I felt joy and contentment. Through his eyes I learned to savor every moment of life. He showed me even in the worst situation we could find reasons to laugh. He taught me to give thanks to our Creator for the simplest of blessings. The plate of gruel before me may have been tasteless but it was warm and filled my belly, just as the smile I got when I chose to lend a helping hand to another prisoner warmed my heart.
Though his arms were still snug around me, Kaal’s breathing had slowed and I knew he was asleep again. I sighed and nestled into his warmth, feeling contented, when it suddenly hit me.