“Back at home, I was a warlord, as were my men, but I have been chosen as leader.”
Warlord? Did he just say Warlord?
Suddenly, I’m not so sure I want to be ‘mating’ with this man. War is terrible, resulting in countless unnecessary deaths. Tribes of men invading, pillaging, burning, raping, taking what they want.
But Grixis doesn’t seem cruel. He’s had every chance to rape me, and yet I remained untouched until I demanded a kiss.
And what a kiss. Hard and soft, evoking sinful thoughts that aren’t meant for modest girls.
“Just…kiss me,” I finally say. He responds with a happy sigh, returning his lips to mine.
And just when I think I’m getting the hang of it, he sucks my tongue into his mouth, turning my blood molten, driving me to madness.
My body trembles, shaking with some unknown urge. I bring a hand to his broad shoulder, running it down over his biceps.
“You’re so…hard,”I say between kisses.
“And you’re soft and weak,” he mumbles against my mouth.
I laugh because he’s just made a joke.
Now that I’ve started exploring his body, he’s taken it as an invitation to explore mine, starting at my waist. Feeling his enormous hand on the small of my back makes me feel tiny and slightly terrified.
He nibbles my lower lip, and I whimper, wanting so badly to feel that mouth of his on my breast, as I’ve seen the castle steward do with the cook.
His hand slides over my dress, from my hip to my ribs. Despite its size, Grixis is not at all clumsy, though I can practically feel the roughness of his callouses through the fabric.
Am I really going to do this? I don’t see any way out of it. And I’m okay with that. He’s not some heathen forcing me over a barrel to have his way with me, like my captors. He’s going slow, as I asked him to, courting me in his own way.
Stirring air assaults my back, and I realize he’s popped open the buttons of my dress. I’ve never been naked for a man before. There were a few servants that took lovers. A girl named Maisy took to bed a lord’s son when she was just sixteen. A year later she got with child.
Child…
I pull back, causing Grixis to groan.
“I can’t…”
His teeth clench. “Then why even start?”
“It’s just…I can’t have a baby. Not stranded on Melgrim.”
“Not even with the seed of a strong man?”
“Who knows how my ‘weak’ womanly body would react,” I say sarcastically, then bring my lips to his again, because I can’t help myself.
“Damn, you woman,” he grinds, kissing me with renewed fervor. “What woman doesn’t want her womb to quicken?”
I gasp for breath.“Please…I can’t…I can’t bring a bastard into this world.”
“Bastard?”
He doesn’t even know what a bastard is, and if he’s tribe leader, our child would be honored. Not at all an outcast like myself.
Maybe I need to rethink this whole panicking thing.
“Just…be gentle.”
“So weak.” He pulls my mouth to his again, desperate to continue, and I’m more than eager.