“We’ll bite. Why aren’t you buying us a wedding gift?” He asked cautiously. Her smile became beatific.
“I’m letting you have my womb,” she said.
“Your room?” Speed said and looked at Blake in confusion but he just shrugged.
“Why would I want your room?” Blake asked her and Kat bit down on her lower lip as her eyes watered.
“Not room, you nerds. My womb.” She pressed down hard on the b so it came out like “wombah,” making Speed and Blake jump.
“Oh.” Blake blinked back at her while his brain spun like a top. All Speed appeared capable of was movement. The cushion next to Blake’s bounced and Speed sat forward then back as his hand rubbed his thigh and fidgeted with his collar. Blake suspected that Speed was overwhelmed and struggling to hold onto his composure. “That’s incredible, Kat,” Blake said once he’d recovered. “We haven’t decided yet but…are you sure? You went through childbirth once so you know how demanding pregnancy is and what it does to a woman’s body.”
“Have I thought about hownothingwould make me happier than seeing you and Speed become fathers? God, Blake…” She let out a watery laugh as she fanned her face. “I’ma touchtoo old to be an egg donor but I talked to my doctor and she says I’m in great shape and should have just as easy of a time as I did with Henry. I’d really, really love to have a niece, though, if you’re open to suggestions. It’s been lonely, being the only girl for two generations. Unless you don’t want to have a baby and would rather adopt a child or a dog. In that case, you’re getting monogrammed towels.”
A tiny whimper slipped from Speed and he popped to his feet. “I need to…” He choked out before he stepped around the coffee table and quickly strode into the foyer and down the hall.
Kat got up to go after him but Blake stopped her. “What happened? Did I upset him?” She asked. He shook his head and reassured her that Speed was fine, that he needed a moment to get a handle on his emotions. Blake excused himself so he could check on Speed and found him in the pantry.
“Are you ok?”
Speed nodded but he continued to study the clear bins on the back wall. “I never realized there was more than one type of flour. What do you do with all of these?” He asked but he didn’t turn around.
“Different types of baking and pasta-making,” Blake replied as he crept closer. “You don’t have to hide when your feelings start to get away from you. It’s ok if you get upset or want to cry because you’re happy. You don’t have to feel all of this alone. In fact, I’d kind of like to go along for the ride, even if it’s rough.”
He put his arms around Speed and felt him shudder as Blake’s hand spread over his chest protectively. Speed’s hand covered Blake’s, pressing it more firmly against his sternum.
“I can’t…begin to tell her howgratefulI am but I’m so fucking scared, Blake!” He finally turned and Speed was crying as he pulled Blake close. Blake leaned back against Speed’s arm so he’d see he wasn’t crying alone. Tears pooled in Blake’s eyes as he cupped Speed’s cheek.
“Babies are scary! I know, I have four nephews. I have a lot of experience so they don’t scare me anymore but I’m not going to feel like I’ve missed out if you want to skip over the messy diapers and spitting up.”
“It’s not that.” Speed’s lip trembled and he tried to look away but Blake wouldn’t let him. He held onto Speed’s jaw and followed his eyes.
“Let’s do this together!” Blake begged him. He pressed a firm, reassuring kiss to Speed’s lips. “It’s ok to talk about this now and you can’t use Francis anymore,” he added. Speed’s head cocked and he frowned.
“What do you mean?”
Blake shushed soothingly as he kissed Speed. “I was never worried about Francis finding out and coming after us. Not after everything I’ve learned about you and Blink and my brother and his friends. I worried about going too fast and Francis was a good way to put a lid on this and keep us at a simmer.”
There was a soft laugh and Speed shut his eyes as he relaxed against Blake. He rested his forehead on Blake’s and smiled as they pecked at each other’s lips.
“Saying I didn’t want to get your hopes up was a lot easier than telling you how out of control mine were. I spent my whole life keeping everything to myself, believing I couldn’t have anything good. Now, Kat’s going to give me a baby girl? My own—” Speed choked and his face crumpled as he cried. “I could have a daughter?” He wound his arm tight around Blake and sobbed into his shoulder.
“Whatever you want, Speed,” Blake promised him.
“Why would she do that? It’s so…big!” Speed was lost as he raised his head and swiped the tears from his cheeks. “That’s such a big thing to do for someone!” He whispered.
“She loves us.” Blake shrugged.
“But—! Carrying a baby? That’s…a lot!”
“You’ve met Kat. She lives to bea lotand there’s nothing she won’t do for us. And she isn’t scared of shit. A bobcat went after one of our puppies and Kat picked up the bobcat and threw it. The thing looked at her like she had horns and took off.”
“What is wrong with her?” Speed laughed in the direction of the living room.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked Mom and Dad.”
“She’s the best and I love her,” Speed said and Blake nodded but tapped a finger against his lips.
“If you tell her, she’ll never shut up about it.”