Hades drags his hand across my side to delve between my thighs. The shock of the touch has my eyes flying open. Hercules breaks their kiss and looks down at me, his blue eyes already gone hazy with pleasure. “Good morning, Meg.”
“I—”
Hades chooses that moment to push two fingers into me. “Did you think we wouldn’t notice you waking up?”
That’s exactly what I thought. I swallow hard. “You were busy.”
“Never too busy for you.” Hercules shifts down to kiss me, and I can taste Hades on his tongue. He barely lets me sink into him before he lifts his head. “You tensed up. Why?”
Is he seriously asking me this while Hades fingers me? I arch up to take his mouth again, but he moves back, staying just out of reach. Hades chooses that moment to withdraw his fingers and deliver a stinging slap to my clit. “Answer him, love.”
When I craved being the center of their attention, I didn’t anticipate this. I open my mouth, but hesitate. Admitting my selfish thoughts might as well pave the way for them to leave me. The fear feels a little irrational right now, with Hercules reaching down to lightly stroke my clit and Hades moving to finger-fuck me from behind. It doesn’t mean it’s not valid or that it won’t leave me so incredibly vulnerable. “Can we please just get down to the orgasms and stop talking so much?”
Hades’s lips brush the curve of my ear. “No.” He pushes a third finger into me. “Answer his question.”
I can’t think past what they’re doing to me, past the way their presence overwhelms me from both sides. The truth spills from my lips, sharp and painful. “I feel like I’m unnecessary. Replaceable.”
Hercules inhales sharply. “What?”
Now that I’ve started, I can’t seem to stop. “Hades shares with you what he won’t share with me. He doesn’t shut you out.” God, it hurts to admit that, hurts more than I could imagine.
Hades stops fucking me with his fingers, but he doesn’t remove them. “You’re still hurting.” He sounds…shocked? But surely that can’t be. Hades knows all, even when I want to shove him out a window for seeing things I’m not willing to share.
“I’m always hurting.” My words don’t have the intended amusement in them. They come out stark. True.
I twist to face him and they allow me to do it. Hercules wraps his arms and body around my back, always giving me comfort in whatever way I’ll allow. His strength buoys me to speak the truth that’s been lodged in my throat for days. Longer. I look up into Hades’s dark eyes and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, he’s not holding himself back from me. He’s right here, close enough to touch in every way that counts.
I swallow hard. I may not get another opportunity to get this out. “You didn’t tell me about them. You’ve stopped telling me anything. I’m not a partner, Hades. I’m just another soldier for you to bend to your will.”
“Not that, love, never that.” He strokes his thumbs over my cheeks and they come away wet with my tears. Hades presses his forehead to mine. “I love you. I may not… show it abundantly at times, but never doubt that I do.”
“I love you too,” I whisper. “I just don’t know if it’s enough.” The same words I said to Hercules are just as true now as they were then. That’s the worst part of it. Love is supposed to conquer all, but I’ve known that for a lie most of my adult life. It feels different with Hades, and that used to be something I cherished. Now, it seems like every move we make cuts each other, no matter how carefully we maneuver.
“Give us time, Meg.” Hercules kisses the top of my head.
Pain lances through me. “You two want—”
“No.” Hades shakes his head. “Give us time. All three of us.”
I stare up at him. Surely he isn’t saying what I think he’s saying. I lick my lips, striving to calm my racing heart. It’s no use. “The three of us.”
“Yes.” He looks deadly serious for once. No amusement. No cruelty. Just Hades. “We could be a true triad.” His lips quirk. “At least we could if we get out of each other’s way long enough to make it happen.”
What he’s saying, what they’re both saying… Surely it can’t be that simple? I’ve seen poly relationships in the Underworld. Hell, I am poly for all intents and purposes, but we’ve never tried it as a relationship. It’s always just been fucking, with Hades and I circling each other, the only constant. “What about your revenge?”
“It will take shape regardless of what happens with us here now.”
The words are right, but something is off in his tone. Maybe he distrusts this perfect solution as much as I do. I run my hands over Hercules’s arms where he holds me. “This can’t be the life you wanted. To chain yourself to us.”