I’ve put the top of my desk back together by the time she gets back, though I don’t reach into the trashcan for Ainsley’s gift; I’m too ashamed of my behavior. Evelyn hands me a piece of paper. “I can email it to you as well if you like?”
“That would be great,” I say, then meet her eyes. “Thank you.”
Evelyn smiles, nods, and heads back to her desk. I have to go to where she lives and make this right in person. I grab my jacket and head out with the address in hand. The GPS says she lives twenty minutes away. It doesn’t even occur to me that maybe she went somewhere other than home, but it’s too late to worry about that now. I pull onto the freeway and pray she’s there.
My stomach lurches with nerves as I take her exit, palms sweating as I grip the wheel. She lives in an apartment building a few blocks down. I pull up in front but can’t make myself get out of the car. Frozen in place, a horrible thought occurs to me—I have no idea what I’m going to say to her. Of course, I’ve had feelings for her this whole time, but how do you explain to someone that that’s the reason you’ve treated them like shit. It defies all sense of logic. I squeeze my eyes tight and run a hand through my hair.
The truth is that it’s now or never, and if I don’t tell her what I’m feeling, the moment will pass, and I’ll be the same smug asshole I’ve always been. But if I can be brave enough to tell her the truth…
Maybe I won’t be so lonely after all.
Before I have another second to talk myself out of it, I throw open the car door and head toward her building. I take the stairs two at a time. My body moves without thought, manic and slightly out of control. When I get to her door, I’m sweating. Inside, the television blares, so I know she’s home.
That is if she lives alone. I didn’t even think…what if she doesn’t? She could have a roommate, a sibling, aboyfriend?
The terrible thought dies in my head before I truly decide on whether to knock or run. Ainsley gasps when she sees me. The door’s sudden motion scares me, too.
Her hand flies to her chest. “Jesus Christ,” she says, letting out a long exhale. Once she realizes what’s really happening, that it’s me lingering outside of her door, her dark eyes narrow. “What the hell are you doing here?” My tongue grows three sizes, which is fine because my brain spins like a Rolodex, blurry with all of the things I want to say. “I’m not going back to that office.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. Her red-rimmed eyes make it clear that she’s been crying, and it’s all because of me.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I say. My voice falters, making me sound weak.
“How to do what?” She spits.
I’m suddenly aware of how exposed we are. How if anyone’s home, they’re probably standing at the door, their faces pressed against the peephole. “Can I come in so we can talk about this?”
“No, you cannot.” She says. “After what you’ve put me through. I don’t ever want to see your face again.” I open my mouth to retort but notice that something in her eyes betrays her words. I don’t know what it is or why, but my gut tells me that I can’t just walk away from her.
“Fine,” I say. “I’ll do this here.” I take a deep breath, praying that my words come out right. “I have been an asshole you’re right. My behavior toward you has been less than acceptable.” I pause, but Ainsley remains still. Her face is made of stone.
“No one ever stands up to me, not ever. And when you had the balls to call me out, it was like I wanted to eat you alive.”
“That makes me feel a whole lot better.” Her words drip with sarcasm. “Are you done?”
“No,” I say, even though I should probably quit while I’m ahead. “I’ve been so confused by the way you make me feel, Ainsley. Every cell in my body wanted to make you pay for the way you’ve occupied my thoughts.” Ainsley’s stiff stance softens, yet she still doesn’t respond.
“I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re on my mind all of the time. Night and day, and I didn’t—I don’t—know how to deal with that.” I take a tentative step toward her. “I’m not good with feelings. I run a billion-dollar company, but I can’t even express how I’m fucking feeling.” I make a fist at my side.
“Whoa.” She says, then reaches out and touches my arm. “Expressing how you feel is a skill, one you practice in order to get better at.” When I meet her warm stare, something inside of me melts. After all of this, she’s still able to find compassion for me.
I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it at all.
“I guess I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” My heart races against my ribcage. “And that I don’t hate you, Ainsley. In fact, it’s the exact opposite.” I throw my palms up in defeat. “You’re the only person in the world that’s made me realize how truly broken I am. I’m going to change, and it’s all because of you.” I head toward the exit. “I thought you should know.”
“Vance.” Her words stop me in my tracks. When I turn around, she opens the door, silently welcoming me inside.
Seven
Ainsley
As soon asVance steps inside my apartment, I know what’s about to go down. My body can no longer resist him, especially now that he’s willing to admit his wrongdoings. One thing is clear, Vance Clayton is much more wounded than I initially thought.
“I’m so sorry, Ainsley.” He steps toward me, and my panties instantly dampen. I’ve been resisting my feelings for him, but now they’re exploding out of me. “How can I ever make it up to you? I’ll do anything.” He interlocks his fingers with mine. His touch takes my breath away. “Anything to make it up to you.”
My heart races, and there’s only one thing I want from him, but does this make me weak? Or is it the opposite? Does it take an overwhelming amount of strength to forgive someone for what they’ve done when they’re showing genuine remorse?
I don’t have time to suss it out. I throw my arms over his broad shoulders and pull down on his neck until his lips meet mine. Our kisses are soft at first, but when Vance parts my lips with his tongue, I let him explore every inch of my mouth as our kisses grow passionate. All of that pent-up tension between us bursts forward.
I press myself against his strong, solid body as he wraps his hands around my waist. My core ignites as his hardness presses into me. “I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you, Ainsley.” His lips brush mine as he speaks. “It was all just misdirected energy.”