“So it was a friend with benefits?”
“Yeah. I knew it was mine because we were honest with each other about who we were messing with, and we never hooked up if either of us were in a relationship at any given time. Well, during one of those ‘both of us are single terms,’ I messed up and got her pregnant. I had no condoms for some reason that night, which is unheard of for me.”
He shrugged. “And we’d been drinkin’. I was super horny, and my pullout game was apparently weak that day. She terminated the pregnancy, too. I told her it was her body, her choice, but she ultimately decided on that. She said she did it because she knew I didn’t want kids, but most notably, she took all this medication for different shit she had going on, like sickle cell, stuff like that.” She nodded in understanding. “She’s still a good friend of mine though, to this day. But after that, we pretty much stopped messing around.”
“How old are you? I’m thirty-one.”
“Thirty-six.”
“Really? You look younger than that, Legend. Ever been married?”
“Is this an interview for us to mess around with each other? To see if I qualify?”
“No.”
“Okay, because it sure as hell feels like it. You’re sittin’ here asking about my race, babies, marriage and shit. Those are questions a woman asks when she’s interested in a man as a loveinterest or at least for sex. I thought you said you didn’t wanna fuck with me like that? That I was friend-zoned on sight.”
“Idon’twant to fuck with you like that, and yeah, you’re friend-zoned and red flagged like some ride at an amusement park.”
“Then if I’m such a risk and you’re not tryna bone, why are you askin’ me this stuff? It’s irrelevant. This is the shit someone asks a man when they want to hook up with them, not just be friends.”
He looked into her eyes, catching his reflection in them. Her eyes were full of stories. She seemed slightly guarded, and yet, for the most part, she was open to him. It was like she was asking questions she already knew the answers to, but just wanted him to speak his truth. She was ready to see him.Reallysee him. Perhaps, she already did. In fact, he was now convinced she knew everything she tossed his way. Some part of her, deep down inside, knew the answers before he could offer them up.
“I see it like this. We’re enrolled in a two-year program at the college. We both just started this program. Me, only a couple of weeks before you. If you hang in there, this’ll be a long but productive two years. You’ll complete your work, and you’ll then be able to do what you set out to do. You’ll have the skills, preparation, training, and authorizations. So, it’s important to get to know people who’ve been down a similar path as you, to rub elbows with them, so to speak.”
“That sounds fine and dandy, but that’s not the whole story, Desiree. It’s a bunch of bullshit.”
“And how do you figure that?” She grimaced, as if truly insulted.
“You told me you didn’t wanna be bothered basically, when I was flirting with you in class, and I tried to holla at you that first week. Now, you tryna say you want to be friends because we’re on the same trajectory? Make it make sense. You know plenty ofpeople in that class that you could befriend, and they’re not guys like me, who are interested in you. You know what I want.”
“You don’t want to be my friend, Legend?” She took his hand, and he snatched it away, prompting her to hit her leg and start laughing.
“I’ve made it clear from day one what my intentions were, and it’s not just to be your fucking friend. I want something else, and the wayIdo it, ain’t nothin’ ‘just friendly’ about it.”
She started laughing again, but this time, she sounded nervous. Silence reared its head again, the sexual tension rising. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her breasts, practically ready to pop out of her shirt.
After a short while, she broke the silence. Sliding her long leg along the couch, stretching out, her foot almost touching his pants. He looked down at her foot. The skin looked well moisturized and cared for. Her toes were perfect. The dark polish reminded him of a moonless night, navy blue, unchipped and glossy. He wouldn’t call himself a foot man, but he appreciated it when a woman kept up her hands and feet.
“Legend, you asked why I didn’t try and choose someone else to buddy up with in class. Well, I have, but I have less in common with them, and as far as my inner circle, I don’t have a lot of friends really who are trying to do something with themselves,” she said with a sigh as she leaned forward and grabbed one of the decorative furniture magazines on her coffee table. After rearranging it to her liking, she rested against the couch. “There’s only two Black people in our class, and one of them has missed a number of days, so I imagine she’ll be gone soon enough.”
“What’s that got to do with me? I’m not Black, either. People say I act Black, including my own mama, whatever the hell that means, but at the end of the day, I’m still not. There’s no transracial situation goin’ on here. I hate that term, too. It’sbullshit. We’re born the race we’re supposed to be, and race isn’t even real, if you think about it. It’s just a category, so there’s no need to try and define ourselves in the first fucking place. I appreciate African American culture, I naturally gravitate towards it, but at the end of the day, I know who I am, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. People can say whatever they want to about me. I like what I like, and move how I move. Still not Black though, and never will be.”
“That’s true, but I still see similarities in us.”
“Like what? Besides the love of cooking?”
“We’re both determined. Driven. Responsible. You make people laugh, but you get real serious when it’s time to get down to business. I’m the same way. I like that.”
“You got all of that from a few weeks of class with me?”
“I did.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’re just sayin’ what sounds good.”
“And what motivation would I have for that? Sayin’ what sounds good? What could I possibly want from you that requires me to tell a lie?”
“I don’t know.” He looked at her up and down, grabbed the glass of lemonade he’d poured himself, and gulped it while she looked on. After he finished guzzling it down, he placed it back on the coaster on the table. “But I’ll find out.”