"You're right! You are absolutely right! Okay, one month. This is good, and this can work." She giggles, swallowing down the contents of her glass in one gulp.
"See? It's not that hard. Just take it slow. One month at a time."
"I can do that. I think I've been going a little crazy anyway. I can't blame him for needing a break."
Luckily, the server brings over our dinner just in time, so I don't have to say anything else. A mango chicken salad for me, and a salmon salad for her. I stuck with something light since Karina clearly planned on drinking more than just one glass of wine. If I’m going to allow myself to get fucked up, I didn't want to eat anything heavy.
"Excuse me really quick, I need to run to the ladies’ room," Karina says, climbing down from the high-top chair. I nod, waving her away just as my phone pings. I pick it up, and an instant smile comes to my lips when I see the name of the sender.
Dean:How's dinner?
Me: Good. Don't be mad because I didn't mean to interfere, but Karina told me about your fight. And she agrees.
Dean: Agrees to what?
Me: To take a break from TTC.
Dean: TTC?
Me: Trying to conceive.
Dean: Are you serious?
Me: Yup. But let her tell you. Obviously.
Me: Just being nosey, but why don't you want to keep trying? You've always wanted your own family.
Dean:That's none of your business.
Ouch.
Me:Sorry, not trying to overstep.
Three text bubblesappear and then disappear just as quickly. Karina reclaims her seat, and I sit staring at my phone for too long until she brings my attention back to her. I hadn't intended to upset Dean. I was only trying to understand. I knew he wanted a family because he's told me. Whenever we talked about our future and our plans to get married, he always said he wanted children.
Two. A boy and a girl.
Knowing he's not going to respond, I lock my screen and set my phone on the table face down.
The rest of dinner is spent listening to Karina share stories from her and Dean's days in college. She asks me questions about Declan, and as usual, I avoid those questions. She is too drunk to even notice my sudden subject change whenever she mentions my husband.
Luckily, I’m able to sober up by the time our night ends. She is plastered, so I put her in an Uber and send her home. I didn’t drink much—much less than what I had anticipated—but getting drunk with Karina because she was upset about a fight with her husband hadn’t felt right.
After she leaves in her Uber, I drive myself home.
Later that night,I'm lying in bed, aimlessly scrolling social media on my phone. I've never been a fan of social media, but occasionally, I like to check notifications and see what is going on. I log into my business account, which my social media manager runs. I never use my personal accounts anymore. I had to download the app first, but I do it because I’m curious.
Lie.
Actually, I do it because I want to view Karina's page. And that's exactly how I end up where I'm at now.
With a glass of wine in hand, I scroll through picture after picture of Karina and some of Dean on her Instagram. Seems that she can't go a day without posting a selfie or two. There are a handful of photos of her and Dean together, but mainly just her.
What hurt the most is seeing their wedding photos and the photos of her being pregnant.
It isn't surprising that their wedding was fucking massive and completely ridiculous. The pictures make me laugh because I know it was all her doing. Dean would've never wanted such a large, pretentious wedding.
I'm just closing Instagram when my phone chimes with a new text.