The lie is already on the tip of my tongue and ready to go. “I was working.”
“You smell like perfume.” She raises an eyebrow in question, but I’m quick to lie about that too.
“Must be Marjorie’s. She was in my office helping me prepare a few files to send to clients.” She blinks, her expression unreadable. I’m not sure if she believes my lies; now unease sets in, and I worry that she can smell and taste Camille on me.
Clearing my throat, I pull away from her slowly and move to sit in the chair, just as the doctor enters the room.
“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Jameson. I’m Doctor Rion. I’d like to start with an ultrasound first.”
I stay silent while Karina and the doctor speak, she tells him exactly what happened, when the bleeding started, and how much, and then answers other questions, but I don’t pay attention. Instead, I sit there staring at my hands, saying silent prayers repeatedly that they’ll both be okay.
The truth is, I don’t want to be part of the ultrasound when the doctor performs it. I don’t want him to confirm what I’m dreading. What I already know.
We lost our baby. Because of me, my wife lost the only thing she asked for.
Karina is a good wife and a great person. I love her, and I was in love with her once, and I wonder if I’ll be able to get back there again if I really work at it and try. It may take some time, but I hope that I’ll be able to fall in love with my wife again.
I fucking hope.
I’d been prepared to leave, but after this, I can’t. There's no way I can leave my wife after she just had a miscarriage. I'm not that shitty of a person.
“Wow, we’ve got a very strong heartbeat.” Dr. Rion’s words pull me from my thoughts. On shaky legs, I stand and walk toward Karina, where she’s getting an ultrasound. With a bright smile, the doctor moves the wand over Karina’s still flat stomach and then turns the monitor so that we can see it.
A steady thump, thump, thump fills the room.
Our baby’s heartbeat.
Our baby’s very strong and steady heartbeat.
“Oh my God! Our baby is okay?” Karina cries, and once again, I zone everything out. The only thing I can focus on is the monitor that displays the scan of our unborn child and the sound of its heartbeat.
My prayers were answered.
Our baby will be okay, and I’ll follow through with my end of the deal.
I’ll end things with Camille, return to my wife, and try my hardest to fall in love with her again.
I can do it.
* * *
We spendthe night at the hospital while they run tests to ensure our baby is perfectly fine. Before we leave, Dr. Rion advised Karina that she was to be on bed rest until she could schedule an appointment with an obstetrician and be seen.
When she's discharged, a nurse wheels her out in a wheelchair, and I help her into my car, stopping by a donut shop drive-through on the way home since she is craving a donut and smoothie.
Once at home, I carry Karina inside, help her shower, and dress her in pajamas. We don’t speak as I place her in our bed, then return to our bathroom to take a shower of my own. She had asked me to shower with her, but I didn’t trust being naked in front of her.
Good thing, too, because when I showered, I discovered that I did, in fact, have some remaining red lipstick smeared across my cock along with candy residue from Camille. Clearly, I did a poor job of cleaning properly at the hospital. The last thing I need is for Karina to have seen that, especially when she had already smelled her perfume on me.
I couldn’t risk anything further. Not tonight, not when she is already fragile.
If she suspects already, she doesn’t say anything.
She leaves me second-guessing myself, wondering if I’ve been discreet enough about my affair and covered my tracks.
There in the shower, I wash Camille off me for the last time. Our affair ended the moment I left the lighthouse, and any chance of us being together ever again goes down the drain the moment I wash her lipstick off my dick and brush my teeth, brushing away the taste of her sweet pussy.
I thought it meant something that we’d seen each other all these years later. That somehow, we were finding our way back to each other, but now I know that’s not true.