Money came and went, but family, friends, and talent were forever. It was like I’d had an epiphany, and by the time I stepped out of the shower, I felt better than I had in a long time. Once I was dressed and out of the bathroom, I was smiling and happy, ready to embrace the experience of being here without being weighed down by doom and gloom.
I frowned when I found Bart cooking by himself in the kitchen, though. Stopping with my towel still in my hands as I dried my hair with it, I watched him for a second. “What’s this? You never used to cook back when we were dating. I know we cooked together this morning, but I thought that was only because we were doing it together. To be honest, I thought I was going to have to do most of the cooking while we were here.”
He laughed, seeming completely comfortable and relaxed with a spatula in his hand as he glanced at me over his shoulder from where he was standing in front of the small stove. “There comes a time in a man’s life when he realizes he’s a grownup who can’t live on takeout forever. A few YouTube videos later, I made my first pot roast, and when that was edible, I realized it was time for me to learn how to cook. I’m still no five-star chef, but I can put a good meal on the table if I need to.”
“So what you said this morning about possibly needing to make the pancakes even with a seemingly easy-to-follow recipe since the two of us were the chefs?”
“Well, that was still true. It’s not like either of us have much experience in Icelandic cooking. It seemed like a reasonable assumption that we might not produce something edible even with that recipe.”
I grinned, and he cocked his head, his gaze suddenly contemplative as it raked over me before it came back to mine. “You look like you’re feeling better. Good shower?”
“Very good shower,” I agreed. “Talking to you earlier was even better, though. Everything you said made me realize a few things. Thank you for that.”
His brows shot up. “You’re very welcome. I’d like to know what I made you realize sometime. You really do look like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders.”
“I feel like it,” I confessed as I took up a place at one of the short counters. I pulled a packet of the veggies he’d taken out of the fridge closer. “I’ll chop while you keep watch on that?”
“Teamwork,” he said. “I’ll take it.”
As he turned back to the stove and I started chopping, I finally had the courage to broach a question I’d had in the back of my mind since we’d reconnected at the party. “You can tell me if this question is too personal, but have you really not had any serious relationships over the past six years? It just seems so unlikely to me. You’ve always been more a relationship guy. No offense.”
If he was surprised by the question, he didn’t let on. Instead, he simply shrugged and shook his head when our eyes met as we both glanced at the other over our shoulders. “I really haven’t been in a serious relationship since you, no. No offense taken. Don’t worry. You’re right. I am more of a relationship guy, but I just haven’t been paying much attention to that part of life. I’ve had a few flings, but none where I felt the sort of connection I’m looking for.”
As he said it, our gazes met again and held. He had to look away when an ominous snapping sound came from the pan. “Fuck. That almost got burned.”
The butterflies that were zooming around in my stomach as a result of that lingering look definitely hadn’t gotten burned. Bart had a way of making me feel like a teenager again, and all I could do was hope that he didn’t notice how I kept blushing.
We ate together again, inside this time, and then washed up together since we’d be needing the same dishes for breakfast tomorrow morning and housekeeping wouldn’t be coming by until later. As we finished up, Bart glanced at the bathroom. “I better go grab a shower before bed. I was hoping the clouds would clear up and we’d have a chance at seeing the Northern Lights tonight after all, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.”
My gaze shot up toward the glass ceiling and I sighed when I realized the sky seemed darker than ever. “You’re right. We should turn in early. At least that way, we’ll be up early too, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for another day of adventure.”
He nodded. “Let’s hope we have better luck with the weather tomorrow night. Sleep tight, Serenity. Just in case you nod off before I even get out of the shower.”
“I probably will,” I said, feeling the after-effects of our exciting day now that my stomach was full and we had nothing else planned to keep me awake. “I’ll take the couch tonight. You looked really uncomfortable on it this morning.”
“Nah, I don’t mind sleeping on it. It actually makes me feel a bit like I’m back in college, which is cool.”
I hesitated. “Are you sure? It only seems fair that we should take turns.”
“It’s really fine. How about this? I’ll tell you if I wake up with a crick in my neck or anything, but until then, I’ll stay on the couch. It’s my fault we only have the one bed, anyway.”
“You promise you’ll tell me if it’s too uncomfortable?”
“I promise.” He smiled, walking backward toward the bathroom. “Good night. I’ll keep it down in there and while I’m getting ready for bed.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll probably be out like a light before you’ve even turned on the water. Today was great, but now that we’ve had dinner and I’m relaxing, I’m realizing how beat I am.”
“Same here,” he said, then turned and said goodnight again before disappearing behind the screen where the bathroom was.
As soon as I heard the spray start, I changed into my pajamas, equally hoping that I would and wouldn’t be dressed if he’d forgotten something and needed to come back out again, but he hadn’t forgotten anything and I’d been dressed and in bed for a while before the water shut off.
Closing my eyes so he wouldn’t realize I was still awake, I listened to him turning off the lights and getting settled on the couch, releasing a quiet sigh of relief when I heard his breathing even out soon after. As I lay in the darkness, staring at the almost stormy sky outside, I tried to remind myself that getting involved with Bart again wasn’t a good idea.
As much as he’d really made me feel better about everything today, I still needed to focus on my career. Once I was finally able to say that I’d achieved the one dream that I’d been chasing since I was a little kid, maybe I’d be able to focus on something else. Like finding love and creating the family of my own that I so badly wanted.
Being with him again had reminded me of that other dream I’d had since childhood, but I needed to work on achieving the dream I’d already started chasing first. Once I accomplished something with that, then I could move forward with the rest of my life, but until then, my plate was full. I just had to keep my eyes on the prize for a little while longer. If today had taught me anything, it was that now wasn’t the time to give up or to switch my attention to anything else.
Just keep swimming, Serenity. Just. Keep. Swimming. Just for a little while longer.