“What do you mean around? He hasn’t been in the office for what, six weeks?” Sam Danner said. I wonder if he was the one that was betting on my having cancer? There was a part of me that thought maybe I should send him back to the New York office. He could be a little inconsistent in his work and so Archer and I arranged to have him transferred out here three months ago. The idea was that we’d have a closer eye on him and make sure he got the training and mentorship he needed.
“Can we fire him yet?”
Again, I couldn’t tell from the screen who had said that. Not wanting to watch the men get into a pissing match during a work conference, I said, “The fact that you’ve been doing great work without me being there in the last month proves that you don’t need me.”
“I thought you were going to wait until after the baby came?” Archer said.
I flinched, wondering if he knew about Mo. But then I remembered his wife Lane was expecting their second child any day.
“I’m sure Dax can manage things when you need time off. If push comes to shove, I’m a phone call away, but I’m ready to be out.”
The room erupted with comments and chatter. Archer stared at me through the video conference line as if he was searching for answers.
I did my best to keep my expression neutral. “You’re all going to be just fine. My financial future is in your hands, and I wouldn’t hand it over to you if I didn’t think you could do it.”
A baby’s cry echoed through my room. Oh shit.
Archer frowned. “What is that? It sounds like a baby.”
All the men quieted down; their heads tilted toward the video conference as if they were trying to hear.
“The maid must have the TV on. I’ve got a run.” I turned off the video and audio feed.
With a long sigh, I dragged myself from my office to Mo’s room. Exhaustion made each move excruciatingly difficult.
“Hey little man.” I picked him up, cradling him in my arms. He hiccupped and for a moment I had hoped that he’d feel soothed by my presence. But I guess he was just catching his breath as he let out another wail.
I changed his diaper and then took him downstairs to make a bottle. He quieted down enough to eat, but once he finished, he was crying again.
I stood, carrying him on my shoulder as I burped him. “Is it your mom? Do you miss her?” He’d had a checkup, so I knew he wasn’t ill.
When I tried to explain to the nurse that he cried all the time, she gave me a patronizing look. “That’s how babies communicate. They cry.”
Well, what the fuck is he saying, lady?I wanted to ask her.
A week later, I took him to another doctor, who seemed more understanding. “I used to think parents were exaggerating about crying babies, and then I had one myself. They grow out of it, but it can take time. Find ways to cope and look for tricks that will calm him that are safe.”
I believed my past work in the military and mercenaries helped with the coping, but I’d yet to find a fool-proof solution to calm him.
“I wish I knew how to make you happy.” I’d tried all the ideas I could find on the internet from walking him to putting him in a carrier on the dryer while it ran. The only option that sometimes worked was taking him for a drive.
I grabbed my keys. “Come on, little man. Let’s go for a drive.” I put him in his back-facing car seat in the backseat of my SUV. When I got into the driver’s seat, I checked that the mirrors were set so that I could see him.
When he cried, I knew he was okay, but when he fell asleep, I needed to see him to make sure he was still breathing. Who knew being a father was so stressful?
I started the car and pulled out of the drive. We drove along the coast toward the city. I put on classical music, another internet parenting trick, and then did my best to calm my mind and body as Mo cried in the backseat.
By the time I reached Sunset, Mo was quiet. Looking through my rearview mirror to the mirror positioned over his seat, I could see his eyes were closed. He looked so peaceful when he slept. How come he was so miserable when he was awake?
I shook my head and kept driving.How did I get here?I never, ever thought I’d be a father. I had nothing against children and families. But I was too rough and raw around the edges. I liked adventure and danger. None of that was something a woman was interested in for the long haul.
I suppose in some ways, I’d settled down after Bastion’s death and I left the mercenary business to go into straight security. And now I was going to settle down more, quitting my co-CEO duties to be an at-home dad.
Before Mo, the idea of it would have sent a chill through me. Right now, it wasn’t so bad. If only I could make him happy.
On Sunset, I mindlessly drove, checking out the billboards for movies, TV shows, and expensive luxury items. My eyes fixated on a sign for Timeless Excellence.
Harper Erickson was elegantly draped in a deep blue dress while lounging on a chaise couch.