"I tried to, but you wouldn't listen to me."
"So instead of accepting that I didn't want to be involved in your business scheme, you manipulated me and Noel?" A thought occurred to me as I remembered Noel said things to suggest, he thought I was invading his privacy. "Oh God, are you watching him? Spying on him? Is that why you're always asking me about him? Because you want information?"
"Jesus Harper. I’m not an evil madman. No, I'm not spying on him." He looked at me like that was the most ridiculous idea in the world. "The only reason I was curious if you would befriend him, was maybe it would soften him to me. Maybe he’d be open enough to consider modeling for Anne. That's it. I’ve tried to get in touch with him directly, but I haven’t had any success."
"Has it occurred to you that that's his answer? That he doesn't want to do it?"
He gave me another sheepish smile. "But he'd be perfect. I feel like if I could talk to him, I could convince him to do it."
Bran was a study in contrasts. He was hardheaded, aggressive, and relentless to the point of unlikability. But he was so filled with love for Anne that he would do something crazy like arrange for me to buy the house next to the man he thought would be perfect for her business. In that moment I envied Anne more than I ever had before.
What would it be like to have a man love me so much that he'd concoct a crazy scheme like the one Bran had?
He put his arm around me, and this time I let him. "I know I'm a lunatic sometimes. But I swear to God Noel hasn't been hired to watch over you."
I leaned against him, giving him a small slap chest. “You are a lunatic.”
I was relieved that Noel wasn't employed by my brother, but I was also pissed at him because I'd accused Noel of things that weren't true. Considering our combustible chemistry, I had to wonder what would be going on between us if I hadn’t been so suspicious of him.
Something inside me shifted at the realization that our inability to stay apart even as we knew it was a bad idea to be together was an indication that there was something more than just lust between us.
Taking the belief that he was spying and lying to me out of the equation, changed things. He was rugged and rough around the edges, sometimes veering into vulgarity, but the truth was that those characteristics were part of what attracted me to him.
He was sexy and handsome without trying. He was rich but didn't feel the need to flaunt his wealth. He was his own man in a world in which most of the men I knew were always putting on a show, wheeling and dealing, and manipulating.
Noel didn’t care about any of that. All he cared about was Mo.
Could he care for me too? It was ridiculous how much I hoped so.
I rose from the couch. "I have to go. I have an apology to make."
Bran rose. "Oh? To whom?"
I wondered what Bran would do if I told him that his little scheme had not only backfired, but that it had led to me sleeping with Noel and quite possibly starting to fall for him.
Because I couldn’t trust him not to go bat shit crazy on me, I didn’t tell him. "Give my love to Anne and the baby." I kissed him on the cheek and left his office, for the first time feeling a spring in my step and hope in my heart.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Noel
I didn’t sleep well. Once again, I felt like an asshole for how I left things with Harper, and it was causing insomnia. Why did that woman bring out the caveman in me? I should probably apologize and yet, I knew it was best for both of us if I kept my distance.
I woke up the next morning before Mo. Checking on him, I found him lying awake staring at his mobile.
“Let’s start the day, Little Man.” I picked him up, changed his diaper, and dressed him. I struggled to get the snaps of Mo’s onesie closed, only then realizing he was slightly bigger and heavier. "You're growing." It was ridiculous how proud I felt at that moment. Not at me, but for Mo.
Like he was achieving something even though his growth was biology at work. Still, my boy was growing up. And growing out of his clothes.
When he'd first come to me, I'd had his nanny buy him clothes. Now that I was on my own, it was my job to supply him with his needs, including clothes.
I wondered if I could order baby clothes online. Or did I need to have him try clothes on to make sure they fit?
It was moments like this that took all the wind out of my sails about being a good parent. Sometimes I felt like I finally caught on to parenting and knew what I was doing. But at times like this, it was clear that I was still out of my element.
I finally got the snaps together and managed to get a pair of pants on him, then I brought him downstairs for his morning bottle. Once fed, I put Mo into the carrier and strapped him to my chest so we could go for our morning walk on the beach.
"This isn't a bad little routine we have, is it?" I tilted my head forward to kiss Mo’s soft head. The day was beautiful. The morning sun was warm without being too hot. I sucked in the fresh air and made a point to feel grateful for all that I had.