I don’t know what to say. “This is my fault. I asked Cass to keep it quiet for a few days because I didn’t want her to feel any more pressure from anyone, because of everything your family’s going through. Then when we went to see your dad…”
Herc explodes. “Y’all visited Dad?!”
I tense and step forward as Cass winces. “I needed to ask him if he did those things before I gave my interview to the defense team.”
Herc is not taking any of this well. He’s pacing and muttering now. “You went to the jail; you saw dad’s attorney. You kept all this from me. Jesus, am I even gonna get an invitation to the wedding?”
I insist, “Don’t be mad at her. Be mad at me.”
“I’m pretty mad at both of you right now.”
Cass draws in a shaky breath. “Are you mad because of how you found out? Or because…it’s me and Titus?”
“Honestly, I can’t decide which part is pissing me off more. I need to go cool off.”
“Herc, were you coming over to confront us? Is that why we just happened to see you on the street?”
He stuffs his hands in his pockets, then takes them out, then shifts his weight from one foot to the other, never looking his sister in the eye. “Yes…and then when I saw you I knew I couldn’t do anything stupid.”
“I appreciate that,” I say, trying out my jokey voice.
“Not because I didn’twantto fight you. But because I don’t want to get kicked off the team.” Herc glowers at me. “Just so we’re clear.”
“Crystal,” I say.
“Herc, I really did want to tell you first. I didn’t want you to find out like this,” I say.
“Sure looks that way when y’all are so sloppy about it.”
This is getting far too heated. “Herc. Let’s talk on Sunday. After the game. And if you want to fight, we can fight. I won’t even swing at you, you can just headbutt me if that will help.”
“We watch game tape on Sunday and after that I have to study,” Herc says sullenly.
The three of us stand there in silence for a full minute before anyone says another word. It’s at most sixty seconds but it feels like an eternity.
It feels like all three of us know that everything has changed. That life has already been turned upside down. Not just for Herc but for all of us. What we had before has changed, and we’ll never get it back exactly the same way it used to be. Now everything is uncertain.
The only thing I’m certain about is that I love Cass and that I’d still do anything for Herc. His family is my family and always will be. Now doesn’t seem like the right moment to say all of that.
Finally, Herc mumbles something about being late to a team meeting.
“I’ll text you, bro.” I say this after he’s already turned away from us abruptly.
Cass and I rejoin hands and watch Herc skulk down the street, back to his apartment.
I feel her lean into my side tentatively.
“None of that side-hug nonsense, now. Bring it in, Squeaks.” I pull her tight to me and she heaves a heavy, exasperated sigh into my chest. My heart expands and contracts with every passing thought.
“It’s gonna be okay. He’ll come around,” I tell her, squeezing her tight.
But I don’t even know if that’s true.
FIFTEEN
Cassandra
Space.That’s what my brother needs.