Titus collapses onto the bed in fits of laughter. “Do you remember when I gave you the category ‘name five snack foods made of meat’ and you said ‘wiener’?”
I give an exasperated “Yes, Titus.”
“You had the most innocent look on your face.”
“Wieners are snacks, Titus.”
I shake my head at the memory of those two immature boys howling at me. And now, I’m thinking about blowjobs. Great. The conversation is not helping me get my mind over wanting Titus to touch and kiss me.
“Let’s not forget that when I gave you the category, ‘something you wear for protection,’ and you said ‘saliva’?” I remind him.
Titus buzzes his lips dismissively. “I did not say that.”
“Yes, you did! I think you were trying to make me feel better about the wiener thing.”
Titus narrows his eyes at me and looks at me sort of sideways. Slowly, he nods. “Yeah, I remember now. Maybe I was. But it’s also a scientific fact. Some animals…”
“Gross, I do not want to hear about animal saliva,” I say.
“Then you shouldn’t be friends with someone who loves random facts. So, the hagfish—”
I cover my ears. “Nope!”
“Fine,” he says with a laugh. “Are we even now?”
I nod. “Truce.”
He clears his throat and rubs a palm over his face.
“What is it?”
“Since we’re calling a truce. I’m sorry for saying you were majoring in gym.”
I shrug. “I kind of am, I guess.”
Titus is sitting much closer to me than he was a minute ago, and I only now notice it. “I’m jealous all those future kids will have such a pretty P.E. teacher.”
“Oh my god!” I playfully shove his shoulder, making a pretend retching noise. “Why’d you have to go and make it weird!?”
“I thought you knew all my defense mechanisms.” He’s looking at his open palms as if they hold cheat notes.
“Defense against what, Titus?”
Titus’s green eyes snap up to meet mine. “Against my feelings about you.”
All the oxygen in my body leaves in a single breath. I feel dizzy. My palms are cold. My heart gallops a mile a minute.
I squeak, “What…kind…of feelings?”
I need to be sure I heard him correctly. I know what he said. And I know what kind of feelings. But I need to be one hundred percent clear.
He exhales heavily. “I’m just gonna go for it,” he mutters, then says, “The romantic kind.” The sweet, boyish smile that I first fell in love with returns.
I fist the bedspread as if that will keep me steady.
“Since when?”
“Since always.”