“Not if they are convincedI’mdead.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to start new somewhere with you?”
“That ain’t it at all. I—you—you didn’t ask for any of this. You married a Kincaid to save me from a terrible fate. I feel like I’m dragging you into a rather terrible fate now. You’d be dying in a very real way. You couldn’t be Doctor Barnabus Milligan anymore. You wouldn’t be the Barnabus Milligan who runs safe houses in London and rescues people. There’d be no chance of maybe meeting your actual family after all.”
“Youaremy actual family, Gemma.”
“Because you didn’t have a choice.” She stepped away, trying to calm the storm of conflicting emotions swirling inside her. She wanted him to come with her. She wanted him to build this new life with her. But she couldn’t bear to think of him giving up so much for a wife he’d not chosen to begin with.
Baz moved to stand behind her. “I never should have said I married you because no one else could help you.”
“But it’s true,” she said.
“Sometimes the truth can be worded in such a way that it becomes a lie.” His arms wrapped around her. He rested his cheek against hers. “Acknowledging that we were in a situationwhere choices were limited has given you the very false impression that I am not choosing this—choosingus—now.”
She closed her eyes, letting the moment write itself on her mind and wrap itself around her heart.
“Though I’d love to stand here all day, holding you like this,” Baz said, “our two friends over there are likely to grow impatient if we don’t get back to the business of our untimely deaths.”
“I cain’t think of anyone I’d rather untimely die with,” she said.
He laughed, then kissed her cheek once more.
Gemma felt a bit better. She was still overwhelmed, and they were still facing tremendous danger. But she felt a very little bit better.
Chapter 29
Mr. Sorokin had worked a miracle.
A new letter was forged in a shockingly short time, testifying that Dr. Barnabus Milligan and Mrs. Gemma Milligan, née Kincaid, had been killed in a tragic carriage accident caused by excessive speed on a lesser-traveled road leading away from London. But he’d done something far kinder even than that: he’d created a certificate of graduation from medical college for one Bernard Mitchell. In a quiet village at a distance from both London and the medical college in Scotland, Barnabus could work as a doctor.
“Bernard ain’t so different a name to Barnabus that people’d raise a fuss if they heard me calling you Baz.” Gemma had only just finished reading the documents Fletcher had brought by. “I’ll do my best to remember not to, but habit and what.”
“You could always invent a new pet name for me.”
“I can think of a few.” Her reply was as flirtatious as his suggestion had been.
Fletcher made a gagging sound deep in his throat.
“Take pity on him, love,” Barnabus said to Gemma. “Elizabeth’s not here, and that makes him grumpy.”
“Are you grumpy when I’m not with you?” she asked.
“Yes, he is,” Fletcher tossed back.
Gemma looked over the documents again. “I’m glad you’ll still be a doctor. That’ll answer a few worries.”
He and Gemma wouldn’t be destitute, and he wouldn’t have to give up a career he’d felt called to do. And he fully suspected thatwould alleviate some of the guilt he saw lingering in Gemma’s expression.
But it wouldn’t be enough to wash away the doubts she had. He needed her to know that being with her was what he wanted, not something required of him.
So he’d hatched a plan of his own, one Fletcher meant to help him implement.
Gemma hummed a few bars of “She Moved Through the Fair” as she fetched her detailed list of preparations for their upcoming escape.
The three of them sat at the table, and Gemma spread her papers out, going over each item one at a time.
“Has the hearse Kumar procured been altered with the false bottom?”