After a long drive, I find Cecily sitting on one of the benches in the park, reading from some psychology book and giving zero fucks about the attention her silver hair gets.
She’s wearing a shirt that says,Wait…you can see me?
The moment my shadow falls on her, she lifts her head from her book and stares up at me.
“Hi,” I try but fail not to choke on the word.
“Hi,” she says slowly, carefully.
An awkward silence permeates the air, then I fall in beside her. “I can’t believe you’ve come to the States on your own.”
“Yeah, me neither.” She closes her book, slips it into her backpack, and faces me. “Is, eh…are you okay?”
I place both my palms on the bench and stare at the sky. People, movement, and noise swirl around us like the buzzing of bees, but they soon disappear. Unlike my wishes, time doesn’t stop, it keeps flowing on and on in an endless circle.
“I guess.”
“You don’t look okay.” Cecily’s voice softens.
“No?”
“Not really. You’re kind of pale and you’ve lost weight.”
“I’m on a diet for the ballet.”
“Does that mean you’re permanently relocating here?”
“I don’t really have a choice. It’s for the best anyway.”
“The Annika I know wouldn’t give up that easily just because the circumstances stole her choice. She’d fight to get it back, and if that didn’t work, she’d find another solution to get what she wants.”
I release a long sigh. “What I want is impossible.”
“Says who?”
“The one I want.” An onslaught of tears sting my eyelids, but I push them back down. “Enough about me. Tell me about you.”
“The usual.” She sounds sad, like someone who was beaten down. I thought she was mirroring my tone earlier, but she genuinely sounds a little bit broken. “Listen, Anni.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For cutting you off after what happened. I shouldn’t have and I’m so sorry.”
“You guys were hurt on your childhood friend’s behalf. It’s okay. I understand.”
“It is not okay.” Tears gather in her eyes as she grabs my hands in hers. “We were your only friends, but when it mattered the most, we let you down. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this whole mess on your own.”
I choke on my tears and squeeze her fingers in mine. “Thank you, Ces. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.”
“Whatever happens, I’ll always be here for you.”
“Does that mean I can text you sometimes?”
“Of course. Any time.”