Mitch looks a bit surprised. He looks at me as if he expects me to mention something more.
“Why?” he questions.
There's a bitter taste in my mouth. I had successfully not thought about Smith since Mitch moved into their old home next door. But I am doing so now and realizing the ache isn’t truly gone. I've just found a better way to cope with the loss.
Taking a deep breath, I tell him, “I found my boyfriend of six years fooling around with one of the women at my dorm.” The images play in my mind.
Was a six-year relationship not serious enough? The relationship had practically felt like a marriage to me! I guess he didn’t think so. Stupid Smith. During our last few years together, he made me feel undervalued and underappreciated. He stopped respecting my opinions or me as a person.
“I imagine he’d gotten bored of the predictability of our relationship. Yet, after each fight, I came back to him.” My head was shaking. How could I have been so stupid? I know, I longed for his recognition and in doing so, I think I lost some respect for myself along the way. “Sadly, I know now I was searching in Smith for a love that was no longer reciprocated.”
Leaving college this way left me feeling defeated and like a disappointment to my parents, not knowing if or when I’d finish my degree.
Shrugging, I add, "I guess we just grew apart."
Mitch looks even more curious now as he glances at me and back on the road.
"What does that mean?"
“He found certain habits of mine irritating. He always preferred it when I wore my contacts, even when he knew how uncomfortable they made me feel, and said I looked nerdy in glasses. We were just not compatible anymore, that’s all. He actually said it himself.” Every little insult, every little jab had hurt, and I guess, had chipped away at my confidence.
Mitch growls in his throat, which is so hot that I squirm in my seat.
"He's a fool and it’s his loss if you ask me. Do me a favor, make sure the next man you meet worships you and only you. All of your flaws, your mistakes, and imperfections. After all, that’s what makes you, you, Beth. You’re perfect.”
Am I having palpitations?Does he really feel this way about me? Just as I imagine a future of Mitch and me as a couple, reality strikes me hard. Of course not, there’s no way I can ever amount to the women from his past. Besides, after my relationship with Smith, am I even worth anyone’s love? Do I even want to risk getting hurt again, even if he did see me this way? But he probably still sees me as Aaron’s little sister. Anger boils over me as I realize the words he says must be formalities to either help Aaron’s baby sister or to ensure I’ll work for him.
I shrug, looking out of the car window to distract myself from these dark thoughts and the memories of what had happened with Smith.
When Mitch pulls into my driveway, my emotions are raw. Without a word and not looking back, I head inside. Tears start falling as I start climbing the stairs. Tonight was harder than I was prepared for.
CHAPTER7
BETH & MITCHELL
I know I’m supposed to be ecstatic to see my brother, but he’s manipulating me into visiting Mitch, which I completely do not want.
Yeah, right!My brain sasses.
I have been cooped up in the house for the past couple of days to not risk running into Mitch. I want to stay away from him as much as I can after the work date thing; whatever the hell he called it. But I still find myself peeping through the window each time Mitch climbs up a ladder to do some work on the house.
Mitch is hot, which is really why I have to stay away. The image of his naked torso as he’d hammered a wooden nail into a hardwood was burned into my brain forever, and it doesn’t help that he haunts my dreams.
“I cannot go to Mitch’s, Aaron.”
“Why?” my brother asks, confused. “We haven’t seen him in years. And I know he came over to say hi, but mom and dad said you pretended to be asleep when he did.”
What the fuck?
“I was actually asleep,” I enunciate through clenched teeth, yet Aaron has the gall to smirk. If he wasn’t so much older, I would have smacked his head so hard.
“You’re sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you crushed on him all those years ago?”
“Oh my God, Aaron.” I moan, turning away from him to hide my flaming cheeks. “Of course, it has nothing to do with that.”
“Are you sure? Because I pretty much remember you bawling when they moved out. Imagine the look on Mitch’s face if he knew you had wailed for him like a widowed soldier’s wife.”
“W-what is a widowed—For the love of God, Aaron—let’s fucking go.”