“So it’s a sex thing, then? You just want to fuck him? Aren’t you still a virgin?”
I roll my eyes and suck in a deep breath of freshly cut grass as I step out into the breezeway. “You’re really hitting hard today. Yes… still a virgin. Are we good now?”
“Sorry,” she laughs. “I am too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“You’re also two years younger.” I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t think it’s only sex. I can see a real future with him if he gives me a chance.”
My heart does this crushing feeling as I talk, realizing that I can like him all I want, but reality says I’ll never have him, or hold him, or touch him.
“Oh, God,” Addie gasps. “Youlike him, like him? Like you’re into hispersonality?”
“Yeah. There’s this way he talks that’s so smooth and comforting. He’s not just book smart. He’s traveled the world. He’s studied art at the Vatican. He’s touched Greek statues. At the same time, he looks like one of those guys that would have a beer with you on the back porch swing on a Saturday night while he invited you to dance along to some country song.”
She laughs. “Wow! You’ve really taken your time with these fantasies. Also, your roots show through even though you’re in the city. I like that. You’re still a country girl at heart. Maybe that means you’ll come home to me someday.” She spits out a fake cry, then shifts gears. “Why don’t you talk to him then? The semester is over in a couple of weeks. Surely you can pursue something when he’s not directly tied to your degree, right?”
“Yeah, well, he’d still say no. Like I said, he’s shown no interest. And even if he had, I’m sure my parents would lose it if I came home with a guy twenty years older than me.”
“Twenty years?Tell me he’s got tattoos. What was the thing your mom always used to get worked up about back in the day? She went to see that psychic up on the hill who told her a man with a shipwreck tattoo would become obsessed with you. Maybe this is your shipwreck guy.” She laughs.
“Okay, now I remember why I left the mountains. Y’all are crazy.”
“Yeah right! Don’t go hating on us. You know you’re not too far removed from mud on your boots.”
“I miss you guys, and I miss Rugged Mountain. I’ll be home for my birthday. Be good, okay?”
She makes a kissing noise. “Good luck getting naked today. And if you ask me, the professor asking to see you strip down again is kind of a come on.”
“Yeah, in a world where I’m not his student, and I didn’t ask for this already.”
“Whatever you say.” She disconnects the line with a laugh, and I’m left standing outside the art room with a lump in my throat and a racing heart. I’m not sure I can do this again. I’m not sure I should’ve done it to begin with. Then again, I’m not sure my heart can take the disappointment when Professor Hill inevitably ignores me in favor of his office. Addie is right. I want his eyes focused on every last inch of me.
Chapter Four
Gage
Raven walks into the room with her sketchbook and pencil box tucked close to her chest. Her long dark hair drapes down over her shoulder and onto her back, across the top of a pretty purple dress that dots with white flowers. She settles into her usual spot at the back of the room and stares down at her phone, scrolling through as though she’s trying to distract herself until the bell rings.
I should encourage her not to model today, or at the very least, leave the room to give myself some sense of distance from her. I’m not sure I could handle knowing she was nude in front of me for the next ninety minutes.
When the classroom is full, I start class, and Bethany is already running her mouth. “Professor Hill,” she exclaims, “Raven is modeling today, correct?”
Everyone in the room glances back at Raven, whose eyes have gone wide. I know she’s nervous. She didn’t sign up for multiple days of modeling, and I don’t want her to feel pressured or uncomfortable.
I glance toward her, softening my gaze. “Are you interested in continuing today, Raven? If not, we can work off memory.”
“Memory?” Bethany chokes. “I barely remember what happened twenty minutes ago. I can’t work off memory.”
“Me either,” another voice joins.
“Same,” says another. “This is our final project. She volunteered to—”
“I’m good with modeling again,” she says, standing from her desk to make her way toward the storage room to change.
Fuck.
I need to bail. I need to escape to my office, tuck myself behind my desk, and work on the paperwork I need to finish for leaving the college. I sure as hell can’t stand here and torture myself with whatever comes out that door. But before I’ve gathered my things to leave, the storage room door opens, and Raven steps out, her gaze on me as she holds the white sheet tight around her chest.
“Do you mind if we play some low music? I have a playlist on my phone that’s relaxing.” Her voice is soft and sweet and there’s a delicate scent to her that I hadn’t noticed before. It’s light and soft like a field of wildflowers picked after a rain.