“I can tell him to go, if you want.”Reese stepped past me.
I shook my head and stopped her.“I’ll talk to him.”
I opened the door to find Brandon still here.I crossed my arms as much to keep him out as the cold.
“Hey.”His sheepish smile almost undid me.
This was a bad idea, but now that I was here, looking at him, I couldn’t move, not even enough to reply.
Brandon nodded.“Fair.So first of all, very first of all, I’m sorry.Like really, really sorry.I know I’ve been a little difficult recently.Some might sayunreasonable…” He looked me in the eye.
If he was waiting for me to correct him, I wouldn’t.Not that my vocal cords worked.
“And I’m sorry,” he said.“You don’t have to forgive me yet.I’m willing to earn back your trust.I’m seeing someone.She’s nice.Professionally—fuckthat sounded bad—I’m seeing a shrink.Not dating someone.The only people I’m interested in are here.”
I almost cracked a smile at how flustered he was, and at the implication he was talking about Reese, too, but I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction.
“I’m trying.I really am,” Brandon said.“And I love you and I miss you and I don’t want to lose you and even if you decide to ease back into things with me, at least come back to the house tonight and spend Christmas with us.”
“Us?”I looked between him and Reese.
She shrugged.
“Adam and me.He won’t be there until morning, because I was embracing hope that you’d come back with me tonight, both of you, but you can join us then instead if you want.”
Reese pressed her lips to my ear.“It’s up to you,” her whisper was so quiet I barely heard it.“Whatever you decide, I’ll be with you.”
That wasn’t helpful.I wanted her to make up my mind for me, so I couldn’t blame myself if it went bad.
But she believed in my ability to make this decision, and Brandon looked so sincere.Sounded it.And with the pink kissing his cheeks and sadness etched around his eyes, I didn’t want to turn him down.
“I need to know this is more than lip service,” I said.
“It is.I don’t know how to prove that by promising it, which kind of defeats the point, but I mean it.I have a second therapy appointment next week.You can call her if you want.Not tonight.Maybe not until after the holiday.Don’t make me wait that long.”
I was tired of hurting, but I was also lost without Brandon, even after just a few days.I didn’t see myself getting over him.Ever.“I miss you.”The words tasted desperate and right at the same time.“And we’ll come back to the house with you.”
One corner of Brandon’s mouth tugged up in a sheepish smile I rarely saw on him, and I swore the chill melted away.
Reese and I grabbed our coats and bundled into the back of Brandon’s SUV.I needed to keep her close, both to anchor me and to remind me.None of us said anything, and the radio was off.With only the crunch of ice under the tires to fill the void, my mind was free to examine the last few minutes.
Brandon’s tone was different.His posture.But it was more than that.The accusation was gone.
Spend Christmas with us.Adam and me.
We’d never celebrated Christmas with Adam.Not even the year after their father died, when I thought Brandon and Adam could both use the renewed connection to each other.
And the blame was gone from Brandon’s words.
I had no illusions the road ahead would be completely clear, but this all felt like a good start.And I really did miss him.I squeezed Reese’s hand—my proof that sometimes giving someone a second chance could be the best thing in the world.
When we got to the house, it was dark out front.Expected.We stepped through the door, and a pale white glow filtered out from the living room.Brandon moved aside and gestured for us to go ahead.
I walked with Reese, but stopped dead in my tracks when everything came into view.
Reese gasped.
Brandon had sectioned off a portion of the living room and put up a train set.Where did he get a fucking train set?It was wrapped around two little houses.One that looked like ours, and one that was more like a stylized gingerbread house.