Had it really been an hour?
“How are you feeling?”she asked.
“Like I popped a really big zit.I’m sore.Bled dry.But some of the pressure has been relieved.”
She laughed.Apparently she had access to her emotions after all.“That’s certainly a graphic visual.”
“Am I crazy doc?”I tried to keep my tone light.
“We don’t use that word here.But no.You’re overworked.You put a lot of pressure on yourself.You’re probably dealing with depression.But you’re not crazy.Are you coming back in a week?”
No.“Yes.”
“Then you have a little homework.I know, nobody likes homework, but this shouldn’t be too bad.Think about your job.About the pros and cons of staying.”
“I’ve been doing that for months.”
“Do it some more.For me.”
As I walked out to my car, my mind was a jumble, filled with all the thoughts I’d had for days.Weeks.Months.All assaulting me at once.
But they didn’t hurt as much.And if I focused, I could single any one of them out and set the others aside for a few minutes.I was glad I’d made another appointment.
And fuck, I owed some people some apologies.
As I headed toward home, memories of the train flitted to the forefront of my thoughts.Of my dad and Adam, and just the three of us growing up together.
The sunlight caught the snow and the Christmas decorations.Everywhere I looked, people were hustling, but so many of them were smiling.There was a feeling in the air I couldn’t define.
I drove past a craft and hobby shop, and inspiration struck.I took a sharp turn into the parking lot.I knew this place because they had the 3D printer Adam wanted.The one he couldn’t afford after he’d spent out the rest of his workshop budget.
Home would wait.My next stop was an antique shop downtown called Deacon’s Derelicts & D’art.The ridiculous name made me smile.I’d bet money Adam was there, since his best friend owned the place and Deacon was his fallback go-to.
When I walked into the shop, I wasn’t surprised to see Adam behind the front counter, talking to Deacon.
“Do you have five minutes?”I asked Adam.
He rolled his eyes.“I really don’t.”
Irritation surged inside and I tempered it.I was tired of being angry.It took so much energy.“I’m sorry.”I meant it.“For what I said.For everything.”
“Uh-huh.”
This sucked.I’d been an ass though, and it was good practice for what would happen with Danny.The more my head cleared, the more I could see how bad I’d gotten over the last few weeks.“Two minutes?And you don’t have to like me or forgive me or even talk to me during that time.”
“I’ll be right back,” Adam said to Deacon, then he followed me out to my car.
I opened the back of the SUV.“Merry Christmas.”I showed him the printer.“I know you’ll do amazing things with it.”
“Holy shit.”His stunned expression was worth this.“Why?”
“Because I know you’ll do amazing things with it.”I was repeating myself.Great.“You really are brilliant at what you do.Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“What do you want?”Adam eyed me suspiciously.
“Seriously?”I scoffed.“When have I ever praised you for a favor?”
“Never.You don’t hand out the praise.Not without a backhanded compliment attached to it.”