She nudged me playfully with her shoulder.“You’re not the only one who can create an image with words.Tell me you can’t visualize it.”
I could, but I wished I couldn’t.If it didn’t happen, I’d hurt that much more, but I wanted to embrace the possibility.“Would you be okay with me being with him?”
“I mean, yeah.It’s not like you’re leaving me.”Her confidence really was sexy.“And when he’s not being an asshole, the two of you are incredible together.”
“What about you and him?”
“When he’s not being stubborn and I’m not being stubborn, he and I are good together too.”
I really liked her confidence.“So you see yourself in that picture you created.”
“Duh.”
None of this offered answers, but it made me feel better regardless.“He has so much to make up for, even though it was such a short amount of time.”That wasn’t quite right.“It’s actually not a big list, but it feels like the proof that he means it will need to be overwhelming.”
Reese tilted her head up and kissed me on the forehead, before leaning into me again.“I know.”
Thirty-One
Brandon
I couldn’t getPhillip’s visit out of my head.The memories and emotions the brief exchange summoned were more potent than the words themselves.Combined with what Reese said to me, everything glommed together to gnaw at the Danny-sized pit in my heart.I was pretty sure the hole was so big now, it would take two people to fill it.
I carried the business card with me all night.Fell asleep with it on the nightstand, and woke up to it taunting me.
If talking to this Marcie woman would help me get Danny back, I’d do it.A little after nine, I dialed her number, expecting to leave a message and not hear back until after the holidays.
The ache in my chest grew at the thought of not having Danny here for Christmas.
“Sunshine Grove Counseling, this is Marcie Weller.May I help you?”Her voice was pleasant and even, like live ASMR.
I stalled, my rehearsed message no longer appropriate.“Hi, Ms.Weller.A friend recommended you.I’d like to make an appointment.”
“It’s Marcie, please.Is this for you?And your name?”
“Yes.It’s Brandon.”Who was I that I’d forgotten how to have a conversation?It was ridiculous that this basic exchange scared me.
“Brandon.Hi.What am I seeing you about?”
“Therapy?That’s what you do, right?”
Her laugh was soft enough I barely heard it.“Yes.That’s what I do.I have an opening this afternoon.Would you like to come in then?”
So soon?“I expected you to be booked this week.”I wasn’t ready to talk yet, or at all, but I couldn’t ignore the spark of hope at being able to tell Danny… Reese… When did she become such an intricate part of the equation?
“I get a lot of cancellations the week of Christmas.What do you think?”
“Sure.This afternoon sounds great.”I forced the words out before I could over-think them.I was so tired of thinking.
“Great.I’ll see you then.”
Making the appointment didn’t soothe my fractured thoughts, but it added a new verse to the remix.Now I had a whole new tune of confusion to sing along to, and I could fidget instead of staring blankly at walls.
By the time I got to the office, I was struggling to sit still.There was no one else in the waiting room.The sound of chirping birds played over the loudspeaker, and the furnishings were all shades of gray and tan.Dull, but strangely soothing.
I’d only been waiting a few minutes when a woman who was probably about my age stepped out of one of the doors.“Brandon?Come on in.”
Her office was a lot like the waiting room, but the desk and shelves behind it held a more personal touch.Books.Knickknacks.Etcetera.