I’d type messages then delete them.
Come back.Please.
I’ll talk.I’m sorry.
Fine.Fuck you.
How did everyone convince themselves it was so easy to walk away from a situation?My dad.My brother.Danny.
Why didn’t they understand how important it was to stick it out?
What if I left?
The sentence made my gut revolt and an acrid taste surged in my throat.Such a simple question that carried a nauseating meaning.
But I wasn’t considering leaving this world behind—I still wanted to be here, and not because of spite.I liked it here.Checking out on life wasn’t a consideration.
There were things I wanted to put behind me, though.Would it be such a big deal if I set aside what wasn’t working?
I didn’t quit.That wasn’t who I was.If it wasn’t working, I’d fix it.
Fuck, I missed Danny.Reese.Adam.Loathing raged inside that I’d fought with each of them.Why didn’t they understand my side of things?
Those were the thoughts that haunted me until Phillip rang the bell on Monday night.When I answered the door, he said, “I thought you could use a friend.”
“I’m not in the mood for company.”Not if I had to explain myself to yet another person.
“Turns out I was right.”Phillip shouldered me out of the way—what was up with people barging into my house—and strode into the kitchen to set down a pizza box and a six pack of Dew.
His actions were irritating, but they also tugged on memories of the past.The early days of working together.How much fun work used to be.
I didn’t want to lose myself in the past in any way.“Now’s really not a good time.”
Phillip glanced past me to the living room, where tattered popcorn strands still littered the carpet, then he looked at the kitchen sink, which held a few days’ worth of dishes.“Now’s the perfect time.”
“What do you want?”I was trying not to be abrasive.Not with him.
He toed out a chair, but didn’t sit.“To talk.”
Please God, no.“I don’t want to talk.”
“Fine.I’ll talk, you listen.”
“I don’t want a lecture, either.”
“No lecture.”Phillip shook his head.“You and Danny split.”
Fucking hell.“Is he telling the whole office?”
“He’s not telling anyone, but I’ve never seen him smile less, and a guy puts the pieces together.”
“But this isn’t a lecture,” I said flatly.
“Nope.I need to unburden my soul, and I need a friend.”
And I couldn’t turn him away.Not with a request like that.Plus, I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts.I gestured to the seats.“I’m listening.”
Phillip grabbed plates and napkins from the cupboards, moving around my kitchen as comfortably as if it were his own.Because we’d been friends for so long, we’d spent that kind of time at each other’s places.