I never thoughtI’d be here again.Danny in my bed.Us with a solid relationship.
I also never would’ve guessed it would be under these circumstances.We sat facing each other, legs crossed, knees touching.His grief was palpable.I wanted to wrap him up and chase it all away.I knew what he was feeling, because it was how I felt when I pushed him out of my life.Which also meant if Brandon had any shred of humanity—which he did—he was feeling the same thing right now.
But my focus was Danny.
“Do you want to talk about it?”We’d been sitting in silence for long enough I’d lost track of time.I wasn’t sure what to say beyond offering sympathy and hugs, and we’d moved past that.I hoped he’d open up on his own, but he needed a nudge.
He shook his head.“Not really.No.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, I wanted to talk to Brandon,” Danny said.“That was all I wanted.For him to tell me something with more substance thanI’ve got this.Should’ve been a simple request, right?”He looked at me.“Am I the unreasonable one?”
“No.”Even without details, I knew Danny had tried, and I was filling in blanks here and there with the snippets he fed me.
He tossed his keys, wallet, and phone on the comforter next to us.“This is all I walked out with.I’m going to have to go back and get my stuff—” His voice cracked.
“Not tonight.We’ll deal with that step if it gets here.”
“He hasn’t called.”Danny toggled the screen on and off on his phone.“No text.He didn’t try to stop me.”
“Would that have been better?”I didn’t know which direction to push him.I couldn’t blame Danny, but I also couldn’t imagine him without Brandon.All I could do was try to get a grasp on what he wanted.
I doubted he had any more idea than I did.
“No,” Danny said.“Maybe.I might have stayed, and it feels like that enables him.But I don’t know.I made the right decision, didn’t I?”
“You did what you needed to do at the time.”
Danny looked at me, wrinkles of disbelief marring his forehead.“That’s not an answer, Reese.It’s ayesornoquestion.”
“If I tell youno, you didn’t make the right decision, you’ll continue to question yourself regardless.If I tell youyes,a teeny part of you will ask why I want to see the two of you apart.You may not even realize it, though in your case you’ll probably just hate yourself for it.”When I wasn’t trying to guess—project my own feelings—how he felt about me, I had a pretty good idea how Danny’s mind worked.
He sighed.“Judith told him to take the rest of the year off, because he was pissing off everyone he talked to in the office.That’s how bad it is.And I can’t… I don’t… That’s not Brandon.”
“Everyone struggles sometimes.You’re perfect, and even you had a rock bottom moment.”
Danny almost smiled.“I’m not perfect.”
“Agree to disagree.”
He grasped my fingers and kissed the back of my knuckles.“Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“For being you.For being Reese.For being my wonderful and amazing best friend.”
Best friend.Tonight was not the time to pick that apart.“Always.”
My full-size mattresswas too small for two people, but that didn’t stop Danny and me from curling up with each other and staying that way the entire night.Waking up next to him was incredible.Right.I didn’t see it ever getting old.
But the warm glow his presence left inside was muted by his reasons for being here.
He nuzzled my neck and I rolled over to face him.
“What’s on the docket for today?”I asked.
“Work.I need the distraction while I process.I need clothes, too.”Danny frowned.“I guess… a stop by my friendly neighborhood twenty-four-hour store, for something super Casual Friday.”He was making decisions without questioning them.