When I got home, Danny was already there, but Adam was gone.I sent my brother a quick message on my way into the house.Let me know where you wound up, or come back here.You’re still welcome here.
Inside, I found Danny in the kitchen, and greeted him with a long kiss.
“I missed you too.”He smiled against my lips.
Sanity seeped in from the simple act of touching him.Holding him.I needed to hang on to this feeling, because at this moment, all was right with the world.I sniffed the air.“Something smells good.In addition to you.”
“Pad Thai.”Danny pointed at the takeout bags on the table.“I figured if someone else cooked, we could get down to the important stuff.”
“You’re a genius and I love you for it.”
He grinned.That warm, familiar, genuine Danny grin.“And here I thought you loved me for my big dick.”
“That doesn’t hurt.”I considered my words.“I mean, sometimes it does, but that’s part of the fun.”
“Food and conversation first, and then we can make sex jokes.”
I grabbed the bags.“You started it.”
“And I’m hoping you’ll finish it.”Danny followed me into the living room.“Just not yet.”
We settled into our favorite spots next to each other on the sofa, laid out dinner within reach on the coffee table, and picked at our food.
So much for talking.“Where do you want to start?”I asked.
“I was hoping you’d know that.”
I dug through my brain.There were a lot of little things—Adam, the burn out, the snapping at my colleagues—but I wasn’t sure which one he was bothered by.
“Do you want to stop seeing Reese?”Danny’s question jarred me out of my head.“Do you want me to stop seeing her?Hanging out with her?Is her being here a problem?”
“What?”I didn’t try to hide my confusion.“Definitely not.Why would you go there?”
Danny set his food aside.“Every time you’re with her, you vanish after.You don’t sleep in the same bed as her.As me.I thought it was a whim the first time or two, but it’s impacting your work.Your moods.”
“No.”As I grasped Danny’s meaning, I needed to assure him it wasn’t true.“I promise, no.It’s the opposite.The three of us together, we’re incredible.The music.The sex.It’s a kind of inspiration I haven’t felt in a while, and when it hits, I don’t want to lose it.”
Danny’s expression softened and his shoulders slumped.“There’s got to be a better way.”
“If there was, I’d be doing it.”The snap came out without thought.“I’m sorry, that wasn’t right.”
“This is what I’m talking about, though.You’re not you.”
I didn’t want to pick a fight with Danny.“You know work has me burned out.This helps me forget.”
“You don’t have to stay at this job.”
I stared at Danny as if he’d grown two heads.Of all the people to suggest such a thing.After Reese pushed him away, I figured he’d understand how important it was to push through a problem.“It’s just a little stress.”
“It’s just a little unhinged.”He winced.“You can leave.No one will think less of you.”
Unhinged.The same word that haunted me.Thattauntedme.“I'll push through it.”
“I don’t doubt that you can.But you don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do.”My retort came out loudly.“I don’t give up on something because it gets difficult.Not work.Not composing.”Not life.I wasn’t my father.
Danny’s frown deepened.“You have to know this isn’t working.Something needs to change.”