Those of us in theI’ll allow itcamp argued that since this was an addiction recovery group for kids whose parents had kicked them out of their houses for being something other than straight or cis, that giving them coffee was the least of their concerns for their future.
My order was ready for me when I got to Loading Java, and Lyn grabbed me the biggest coffee they sold while Violet and I loaded everything into the passenger seat of my car.
Brandon and everyone he worked with had been coming here for a while, since it was across their street from their offices, but when Luna introduced me to Violet, I thought my prayers had been answered.
Not the same way they were when I met Brandon, but I’d been feeling a bit of discontent for a while, and feeling guilty on top of that.What did I have to be unhappy with?Perfect boyfriend, perfect life, perfectly flawed best friend and bandmate… But something was missing.
I thanked Violet, told her I’d see her in a few hours, and waved to Brandon’s building.He was in meetings all day, so I wouldn’t see him while I was here.Then I was on my way.
Violet not only managed Loading Java for Lyn, but volunteered at the shelter for LGBTQ+ teens that I was heading to.When I started talking to her, months ago, she mentioned they needed someone to run some of their addiction recovery groups for older teens.
I’d been sober for almost a decade, knew my way around an AA meeting, and felt for these kids who needed someone who cared, so I stepped in.
I remembered being where these kids were, despite my being older when it happened to me.It was so long ago, but there were days when it still felt like yesterday.I’d been dating Reese, we were singing in clubs and drawing a huge audience, and we were going to conquer the world with our music.
Then she lost her mother, and spiraled with the grief.We held onto each other, but she was struggling with the idea of losing someone she loved so much.
She got what she insisted was a better offer.From her current manager—live and learn—all she had to do was break up the band and kick off her solo career.She’d done it.She dumped me, she stopped performing with me.She cut off all contact with me.
Work started falling apart about the same time, and there was no doubt the two stresses fed each other.I’d moved into a bottle of whatever was cheap and had a high alcohol content, and lived there.
The memory didn’t haunt me the way it used to, Reese had spent years earning my trust again after she came back into my life, and I knew she’d learned.But when I listened to these kids tell their stories, still in that rock bottom spot and thinking nothing in the world mattered but numbing the pain, I felt those ghosts of the past.
And now I was wondering what it would be like to let Reese further into my life again.To have her as part of my relationship with Brandon.
I was an idiot for even considering it, but every time the thought entered my head, it felt like a good idea.Even now, with those old wounds exposed and aching, I liked the thought of having more with Reese again, without losing Brandon.
Seven
Brandon
The entire management team—whichwas also more than a third of the company—sat in one of our meeting rooms.Which was really like any of the other rooms in the AcesPlayed building, but with an oblong conference room table in the middle, instead of desks and computers and walls filled with each respective team’s workflows.
Judith stood at the front of the room, her face pinched and her lips pursed.She was as bothered about needing to have this meeting as the rest of us were.“Do we need to send Luna to every person’s house and make sure everything is secure?”
The question wasn’t directed at me, but I was still furious that this happened because of some sort of flaw on my end.
“The patch I have for personal computers is solid,” Luna said.“But each machine takes me a few hours to set up and test, and it’s a lot of configuration, so I can’t really start one then move on to the next.I’m going to be working on them for weeks.”
“I’m not leaving my home computer here or offline for weeks.”Elliot was saying what all of us were thinking.
Sonya, who was our Director of Story, raised her hand.Like everyone in the room except for Luna, who was younger, she was about forty.She’d come from Rinslet, like so many of us, but hadn’t been with the company quite as long.She was outgoing in a very small group, but put her in a room full of people, and she went quiet.
Not that I had an issue with that.She was nice, and like all of us, she was one of the best at what she did.
“Sonya, yes.”Judith called on her.
Sonya ducked her head when everyone turned in her direction.“Story can help Nigel with testing.Give us a checklist of what to look for.”
“Nigel’s not…” Luna clenched her jaw.Unhappy was odd for her, but she and Nigel clashed early on when she started working here, and they hadn’t gotten past it.“I’d love to have help from Story.And QA if they’re available.”
“We are.”Nigel wasn’t a bad guy, but he did have the kind of attention to detail that was required from a director of Quality Assurance.“My entire team is available, if that will make things go faster.”
Luna’s smile was tight.“Looking forward to it.That cuts a little bit of time off my estimate, but I still have to do the installs.Can we bring Danny in?”She looked between Judith and me.
I’d rather we didn’t.This kind of work added to his breakdown, years ago.But this was a short-term contract, with people I trusted to not demand too much, and, “It’s not my decision.”
“Wait.Danny.Pretty, plays guitar… Or are we talking about a different Danny?”Judith asked.