In my mother’s last days, she was in the hospice portion of a publicly funded nursing home.We couldn’t afford more.The other residents in both halves of the facility were twenty, thirty, even forty years older than she was.
And so many of them just wanted someone to talk to.I’d visit mom, and if she was asleep, or I was waiting for the staff to be done treating her, I’d go hang out with the other residents.
These days I worked for a service that offered check-in calls with seniors.I’d call my clients and we’d chat, usually far longer than we were supposed to.I hated that I was supposed to bill people by the hour for a conversation, and I rarely billed more than the minimum.
I grabbed a soda from the fridge—it was a good thing I didn’t keep beer in the house—and dialed my appointment.
“Hey, darlin’,” Bambi answered.
I didn’t know what name she’d been given at birth, but she’d changed it legally when she was eighteen, because she was going to be a star.She had more or less adopted me a few years ago, and she was one of my favorite clients to talk to.
“Hey.How are you?How was your Thanksgiving?”She’d had big plans with her girlfriends.
“Too adult for your virgin ears.”
I laughed.“Okay.Whatever.”This was good.It would take my mind off the incredible sex from a few days ago.
“Trust me, Buttercup, you don’t want to hear about a bunch of old ladies sitting around talking about the dragon dildo website Sofie’s granddaughter sent her.”
Now I was laughing harder.“First of all, you’re not old, and second, I hope to be that person when I’m your age.”
Bambi snorted.“By the time you’re my age, science will have turned those… what are they called… deep throat images into printable images, and you’ll never age again.”
“Deep throat?”I tossed the word in my head, looking for any connection that matched the context of her reply.“Deep fake?”
“Don’t correct me, young lady.I know what I said.There’s no way those women are actually swallowing those cocks.”
“It’s all about controlling your gag reflex, and yes I know from experience.”
Bambi gave an exaggerated cough, as if clearing her throat.“Don’t brag, it’s not becoming.And don’t correct your elders.”
We chatted until I had to let her go for my next appointment.I talked to two more clients over the next three hours, and then it was time to get ready for decorating with Danny and Brandon.
Thinking about seeing Danny and Brandon again… Who was I?I didn’t get hung up on shit like that.Had it really been that long since I had incredible sex with someone other than my vibrator?
That must be my hang-up—my revisiting the moment over and over wasn’t the who, it was the what.I’d find a good orgasm or two somewhere else, and I’d be fine again.And as long as Danny was free tonight, hanging out with the guy who had been my best friend for ages wouldn’t be awkward at all.
I washed off the stink from the moving we did this morning, but didn’t bother with makeup or doing my hair.This was decorating my home, and no one else would see me.No one to impress.
Regardless of what the tiny little girl in the back of my head, who had loved Danny since we were kids, was screaming.
Outside my window, snow was starting to fall.It didn’t seem likely Danny and Brandon would make it over tonight, but I had to call anyway.As I grabbed my phone and dialed Danny, I turned to watch a few white flakes turn into a heavy curtain.I listened to several rings before Danny answered, breathless.“Hey.”
“Decorating?”
“What?Oh.Fuck.I’m sorry Reese, I got so caught up in this thing, I lost track of time.”
What?Danny didn’t do that.He had, once upon a time when it was his job, but not anymore.“No worries.”I made sure I sounded like I meant it.His getting hung up was expected, after all.“I’ll see you for practice tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, definitely.I’m sorry.”
I forced myself to smile, so the look would shine through in my voice.“Seriously, it’s okay.How’s everything going?’
“Eh.Not as bad as it could be, but not as good as we’d like.Hey, I need to get back to it.Catch up with you tomorrow?”
“Sure.Talk to you then.”I was pretty sure he hung up before I finished talking.Was I hurt that he couldn’t make time for tonight?Of course.I had a hard time blaming him, though.He was doing something he loved, with someone he loved.
I needed a boost of good cheer, and there was no reason I couldn’t decorate by myself.There wasn’t enough room in here for much, but I had a foot-high Christmas tree, with tiny ornaments and the littlest string of lights to adorn it.