But for now, I’ll keep my mouth shut.
I don’t think he could handle the truth, and we have an evil queen to kill.
CHAPTER FOUR
FIONA
I don’t know if I like the woman I’m becoming.
I’m twenty-three years old, and I’ve already seen so much death. I’ve killed—more than once. My actions have resulted in the deaths of hundreds. I’ve alienated one of the people closest to me, and I miss him like crazy.
And the thing that scares me the most is that I don’t really care. Because it feels like the ends justify the means.
I can fix all of this when Lamia is dead and Homeworld is under my control.
That strange, otherworldly voice in my head—the voice of the thing I’m transforming into—is the only thing that keeps me sane as we go headfirst into a war that might take more of my men away from me. The voice of the future queen, telling me that it will all be worth it. That I’m not just playing a game and dressing up like a princess, that I can actually make a difference.
It’s overwhelming, and I can’t tell a soul.
Cressida and I sit at the aft of the Wrath, looking out at the starscape as we leave Alamancia behind. This ship is far bigger than the Naiad, and I kind of hate being here, not that I would ever say anything to Cressida. Her posture is straight and regal as she stares out into the void, the dark circles under her eyes as severe as they were in the days just after Damarion died.
I don’t know if she’ll recover from that.
I don’t know howIcould—how Iwill, when I inevitably lose one of them.
Nereus. Taln. Ryker. Orion.
Kye.
It seems like one of them is next on the chopping block.
I’m trying so hard not to think about it. I steel myself as I look at Cressida, wondering if I look even half as royal as she does.
“You have a choice to make,” Cressida says, looking at me with eyes that are eerily similar to Nereus’. “Rally your allies across the Merati Kingdom, building your army–ortravel to Borealis to negotiate peace with the Hyperborean Empire.”
“Which one of those options will result in less death?” I ask instantly, betraying how I really feel about this whole situation. I just don’t want anyone else to die–not on my behalf.
“Hm…” Cressida picks up her tea from the table beside her and stirs it idly, the golden spoon clinking on porcelain. I might think I was in some baroque palace in Paris if it wasn’t for the view of space outside the window. “The former will absolutely be necessary at some point; you will need a great deal of force to take Homeworld, even though Lamia maintains only a small number of faithful soldiers. And of course, you have Triton on your side. I don’t know what they’ll think on Amphitrite, or if you might be able to rally the pirates of Tortuga to your cause.”
“That sounds like the priority,” I say. “In that case, why would I even go to Borealis?”
“Because I know you care about the deaths of innocents,” Cressida says. “And, if you’re successful, you might be able to avert this war entirely.”
“How?”
“We discussed this already, but I don’t know how clear it is,” Cressida says. “We’ve had a…tenuous peace with the Hyperborean Empire for most of my life. But my understanding is that they dislike Lamia as much as the rest of us do. They want someone who’s less…volatile. Who will exhaust Elixir slowly, rather than all at once. She’s unpredictable. Dangerous.”
“And what do we have to offer them?” I ask. “It sounds like we’re lacking in bargaining power.”
“Your removal of Lamia from the throne on Homeworld could be an enticing enough deal to stay out of this war,” Cressida says. “They don’t want to lose their own troops, even if those troops are largely slaves. It’s still manpower that they would prefer to maintain.”
“Slaves?” I ask, blanching. “I didn’t even know…”
“Another enemy for another day,” Cressida says. “I don’t like it either. But…this is, of course, one reason why they mayrejectyour offer.”
I frown. “Why’s that?”
“Because as long as we are preoccupied with the enemy in our own seas, we can’t confront the larger opponent in a distant ocean,” she says. “As long as Lamia controls Homeworld and proves to be a thorn in our side, we will not be able to confront the Hyperborean Empire.”