Do I know this man?
Is he committed to me?
I know he is jealous as fuck.
Or maybe he is angry because I messed with his plans for the evening.
What do I know about people?
People can be unpredictable. I can’t figure out what I want most of the time.
I can’t rely on how I feel.
I’m not saying he has an impulse control problem.
I’m not saying he’s a liar.
Of all the bad things, being a liar is not one of them. That’s what I like about him. I actually love that about him.
None of them are liars, but he, in particular, isn’t.
I have relied on him.
Without trusting him, I would’ve never consented to that wild journey he had taken me on.
Kai has integrity.
And Kai also has a complex life. Unusual tastes in things, sex, and a filthy mind.
He needs to feed his brain, and while lying may not be his thing, taking risks seemingly is.
He’s shown me that side of him several times. People have warned me he knows what he’s doing. And he is calculated.
But maybe he has some sort of duality in him. We all have it. He may be as unpredictable as the next person.
‘This is not that,’ a voice blares in my head, but my emotions don’t care about my logic, getting darker by the moment, making no sense.
And why would they make sense?
I’m not even sure my logic is correct.
“I’m not going to your place,” I announce while the limousine rolls by us and pulls to a stop, feet away from where we stand.
That is a fact.
If he thinks he’s spending the evening at the place where we––I mean Francisco, Alejandro, him, and I had lunch––while I wait for him at the place where we––his two best friends and him have shared me––he has another thing coming.
I won’t be lying in his bed, waiting until he’s coming home from who knows where, doing who knows what, so he can have me.
He may pay me, but I’m not his toy.
“I’m done,” I say, flicking my hand when he opens his mouth to argue.
Without another word, I pivot away and enter the limousine.