He finally cracks a smile.
I flash a grin as well.
It was meant to be a joke and change his mood. That doesn’t mean I don’t want my money. What I said is one hundred percent true.
“Why are you so pissed with him?” I ask.
“Because he left you on that boat.”
His stern answer makes me pause.
“You could’ve stayed…” I say after a moment.
A bitter grin tugs at his lips.
“That’s the thing… I couldn’t. I didn’t want to walk back into that room. It was one thing to share you with Kai. But Cardenas? That wasn’t our deal, and I hate when people change things like that. I have nothing against him. We’ve partied before. I know him. It wasn’t about him. I couldn’t stand the idea that it was a giant reset. Roman wanted you. He wanted to play with you. And fuck you, evidently. Cardenas is notorious for feeling nothing. I don’t know his story, and maybe it wasn’t relevant to what happened. But you and the three of us have some history together. Believe me when I say you feel good with us. The four of us have chemistry. I hated that Kai allowed his feelings to get in the way and ruined it for everybody else. He knew it would destroy our dynamic. So yes… I was angry with him. Not him, Cardenas, but him, Kai. He unnecessarily made it such a complicated, messy thing. We couldn’t stay with you because his emotions flared, and he was partly responsible for that. He was the catalyst for everything. Not to mention he needed to come clean, which I knew he wouldn’t do.”
He looks away while we spend a few moments in silence.
“Come clean… you say,” I murmur, hoping to make him talk.
“Yes. We could’ve taken a break. Cool off. Think about it for a while. Maybe things happened too quickly.”
“Is that how you feel?”
He looks at me, a mix of disbelief and regret on his face.
“You know how I feel. I’m not ashamed of it. But don’t expect me to get out of it anytime soon,” he says, flashing a smile and glancing away again.
“What’s in it for you?” I ask.
His response comes quickly and firmly, knocking the air out of my lungs.
“You.”
He says it, looking straight into my eyes.
He nods in silence, taking in the telling expression on my face. I’m stunned.
“This whole thing started as a dare…” he says.
“Uh-huh.”
He slides back into his seat and runs a tense hand through his hair, checking the rearview mirror again.
People walk their dogs, ride their bicycles, and go to the beach.
“He told us about you, right? In the beginning…” he continues. “And then it was what it was. He knew you liked men. As in more than one.”
“I didn’t know I liked men as in more than one,” I joke, trying to de-tense the atmosphere.
“Well, he knew you had a wild streak, and he was right. I never doubted his intuition.”
He stops and sucks in a scant breath.
“My suspicion is he also knew he wanted you from the beginning.”
I laugh dismissively.