Robert holds a speech, his executive assistant helping him with going over a few graphics with the audience.
My mind is not there, the immediate reality fading, the voices becoming muted as my attention goes back to the events of yesterday.
What happened to us?
What happened? Really?
Twenty-four hours ago, I was in a hotel room in a man’s arms, enveloped in his silence, the afternoon light pouring into the place.
Twenty hours ago, I opened up my heart to a different man. I didn’t want to. And I also didn’t have a say, but I didn’t regret it either.
It was one of the best moments I’ve ever had.
Sixteen hours ago, I was in the throes of passion with one of the men at the other end of the table and then with both of them and a handsome stranger, and then I got mad, but they were faster than me and went poof.
They never came back.
These two act as if we’re strangers. The third man didn’t show up. Is he okay? Has he gone home? I’m joking. He must be here. Not here, here. But here in Miami. Is he car racing, hiding, or having business meetings with someone else?
Is he chatting up a different woman?
No, that’s not Kai. Not his style. He is too much of an adrenaline junkie. He needs to stimulate his brain and doesn’t find pleasure in random encounters. He likes to have control over things.
Wait, wait… Wait.
Oh, no… No, no. Are we doing this again?
I’d laugh if it weren’t awkward to do that here at the table. Are we doing that again?
It happened yesterday morning. And I knew exactly what it meant. He hates not having something that he wants.
But how could last night be the same thing? He knew what I’d do. Didn’t he? Yes, of course, he did.
No? Probably?
Oh…
He didn’t know what Roman would do.
And he didn’t know what Francisco and Alexander would do.
And then my heart skips beats, and it just goes quiet, freezing in the atomic winter wrapped around my body.
It wasn’t me. Although it was me.
It wasn’t Roman. Although it was him.
It was them.
What Kai and I feared happened. It just didn’t happen with the four of us in the room.
It happened with Roman and me and them.
Kai saw it.
How could he not? It was all there. Their feelings for me. My feelings for them. It wasn’t even my feelings. I was warm, tender. We fucked well. We’d been together before. It was all natural. What wasn’t natural was how fast we connected.
He knew.