My palms are sweating as I take it from him with shaky hands. Then my gaze zeros in on the lines. The pounding of my heart is so strong, I can hear it in my ears.Shit.Am I really going to do this? There’s no going back if I do. Am I reallythatfar gone?
Fuck.
“You good, bro?” Kalen asks softly beside me.
“Yeah, dude. I’m fine. Just give me a minute.”
If I do this, I could lose everything. There’s no turning back.Think, Crew. Fucking think.
Fuck it. It’s not like I have anything to lose at this point, anyway. I’m already trash. Already a lying junkie. Already lost the one thing that meant the most to me. May as well take it up a notch. Really dive home in the disappointment.
I bend over the table and position the bill over the fat line, snorting it up my nostril in one swift go. Handing the bill to Kalen, I lie back on the couch. By the time both girls snort theirs, I’m already feeling the effects.
Warmth spreads throughout my body, from the top of my head, down to the tips of my toes. I’ve never felt so relaxed. This feeling can’t be described in any way other than pure euphoria.
One of the girls is talking, but I can’t be bothered to pay attention. I’m too busy melting into the couch, not a damn care in the world.Shit.This stuffisgood.
I have no idea how much time goes by, but I eventually pass out on the couch. By the time I’m opening my eyes again, the sun is shining in, and no one is in sight. My head’s pounding something fierce and my mouth is once again dry as can be. It tastes like something died in my mouth, and I think I might dissolve into dust if I don’t get some water in me soon.
Getting up off the couch, my muscles are screaming at me for sleeping in a weird position all night. Once in the kitchen, I find a glass, filling it to the brim with cold water, and guzzling it down. I fill it up again before heading to look for Kalen and the girls.
They aren’t in any of the rooms on the main floor, so I make my way upstairs. There’s a guest room at the top of the stairs that’s empty. His dad’s room is empty, too, so I open up his bedroom door, and find all three of them passed out in the bed, butt ass naked.
My eyes search the room, finding the clock next to his bed. It tells me it’s a little after ten in the morning. I don’t feel like dealing with these bitches, so I head back downstairs, into the living room, and plop back down on the couch.
My head feels like someone took a fucking sledgehammer to it while I was sleeping.Jesus.I look around and find my phone on the coffee table, surprisingly not dead. Unlocking it, I have a plethora of notifications, most of them from Anderson. He left another voicemail, and something in me decides to listen to it.
“Crew, please. Please fucking answer the phone. I’m so fucking worried about you. It’s been three days and radio silence. Please, just text me and let me know you’re fucking alive.Please.”
The sadness in his voice shatters my heart. I hate how it makes me feel like shit. Before I can talk myself out of it, I open our text exchange and thumb out a message.
Me: Hey.
Me: I’m okay. Sorry for worrying you.
The bubbles indicating he’s typing show up seconds later.
Anderson: Where are you?
Anderson: I went by your house this morning, and no one is home.
I don’t respond, because what is there to say? The truth will only hurt him. I can’t be who he needs me to be, and he has to accept that. He deserves better. He deserves more. Turning my phone off and putting it back in my pocket, I get up just as Kalen is coming down the stairs, still fucking naked.
“Bro, put some fucking clothes on. What the fuck.”
“Like you haven’t seen it before.”
Rolling my eyes, I’m not even going there with him right now. “What’s the plan today?” I ask, turning away and walking back into the living room. I don’t feel like standing there while his goddamn erection stares at me.
“Meeting my supplier in an hour. You can come with me, if you want?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. What about them?” I point my finger up, asking about the chicks still sleeping upstairs.
“We can drop them off on our way there.”
“Where do they live?”
“Marysville. Off 88th St.”