My eyes slam shut, willing the tears to stop. Strong arms wrap around my arms and chest, as a hard body encases my back. “Shhh. Crew. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
Gasping, I fight to fill my lungs. My chest aches and it burns. Wrapping my hands around the arms surrounding me, I try to extract them from my body, but it’s no use. They tighten, forcing me to fall back against the chest that’s cocooning me. My head slumps back onto their shoulder, eyes staring up at the sky—begging, pleading for air. For sanity. For a normal fucking mind.
One of the arms around me comes up, fingers combing through my hair, petting my head. A warm, scruffy cheek presses to the side of my face. “Shh, shh. You’re okay, Crew. Whatever is going on in your head, you’re okay. Stay with me. Listen to my voice. You’re okay.”
Anderson.“Anderson?”
“It’s me. Stay with me. You’re okay.” The petting continues, as does the cooing in my ear. My body instinctively relaxes against his chest, my lungs finally expanding and giving my body the oxygen it so desperately needs. My head feels like it’s spinning, and my skin is on fire, a light sheen of sweat covering my body, butI can breathe.
“That’s it. You got this. Keep breathing.”
A sob bubbles up before I can tamp it down, hot tears cascading silently down my cheeks again.Anderson Judah fucking Walker.I’m okay. I’m not dying. Inhaling a deep breath in through my nose, the crisp morning air fills my lungs.
We stay like this—him wrapped around me, with us sitting on the cold, wet ground—for several minutes. In silence. Him soothing me, and me working to regain my composure. After what feels like too long in silence, he speaks calmly and softly, right into my ear. “Wanna tell me what happened?”
“No.”
“But will you?”
I contemplate telling him no. Why wave my crazy flag around willingly? But it’s Anderson. If anyone’s going to hear me and get me, it’s him. So, shutting my heavy eyes and letting out a deep, trembling breath, I word vomit all my worries. “I woke up this morning with last night’s kiss on my mind and panicked—worried that you were going to wake up in the light of day and regret it all, be pissed at me, and leave.”
“Look at me, please.”
“Uh, would rather not.”
“Please?” Fucking Anderson and his polite ass “please.” He knows I can’t deny him. Shifting in his arms, until we’re face to face, my eyes take him in fully. He somehow has dirt all over the side of his face and he’s also not wearing a shirt.
Of course, my pathetic mind latches onto the fact that his nipples are hard, and my mouth waters.
“First of all, why on earth would I be pissed at you for the kiss, when I’m the one who initiated it?”
“Maybe you felt like you had to.”
His face screws up slightly, brows pinched. “Why would I feel like Ihadto kiss you? Maybe if you kissed me first, yeah, that might make sense. But Crew, I kissed you. I promise, I wanted to. You didn’t make me do anything.”
My cheeks heat and I fight to sit still at that admission.He wanted it.My eyes raise to meet his gaze. His brilliant, deep green eyes are staring into my soul. “Yeah?”
“Yes. And secondly, I don’t regret it.”
“No?”
“No. Do I have questions and wonder where it came from? Yes. But regret? Not a chance.”
“O-okay.”
“And again, with this leaving bullshit, Crew. You’re stuck with me, bro. No middle of the night kiss is going to scare me away. You’re my best friend. Thick as fucking thieves, my dude. So, cut that shit out.”
The heavy weight that was suffocating me lifts, all the tension from my shoulders seeming to disappear at his reassurance. My lips curl up into a shy smile. Looking down, I’m suddenly extremely aware of how filthy I am. Dirt coats my hands and arms, under my fingernails are disgusting, and my clothes are wet.
“Good God. I need a shower.”
“Uh, yes, you do. C’mon. You can shower while the rest of us get breakfast ready. Everyone else is probably up, or almost up, by now.”
“Hey, uh. How’d you find me?”
“I felt you get up. I was half awake. Thought you were just taking a leak, but when you didn’t come back right away, I got up to look for you.
“Thank you, Anderson.”