No. Yes. I didn’t know. While it was still light enough to be safe, I let the horse have its head. When the wild rush of the ride came to an end, I slowed our pace and headed back to the barn. I tensed when I saw someone walking away from the back of the building. Tugging on the reins, I urged Zion to stop and remain still. We waited so I could see where the person would go.
When the figure turned toward the bunkhouse, I got a better look and realized it was Evan. What was he doing out of the house? Maybe he just wanted a quiet moment with the horses. He’d been interested in seeing them, but he didn’t like being around people. I followed him to the house, and one of the guards stationed there gave me a wave as Evan stopped to speak to him. I’d have to talk to Evan about leaving the house at night and tell the guard not to let it happen again.
I nudged Zion with my knee and got him moving toward the barn. When I arrived, Colton was there. Had Evan been meeting him?
“Hey, boss. I left these out here.” He waved a pair of work gloves. “Do you need any help?”
“No thanks. I’ve got it.”
“All right. Good night.”
“Night, Colton.” I’d have to keep a closer eye on him too.
As I brushed Zion down, I kept glancing toward the spot where I’d pressed Jacob against the wall. I’d completely lost control. If my brother hadn’t interrupted us, I’d have fucked him right there. The depth of need he stirred in me wasn’t like anything I’d felt before.
Sure, I’d been horny as hell plenty of times, but I’d never felt utterly incapable of keeping my hands off a man. I’d never been so tempted to forget all my responsibilities and drag a man off somewhere to do nothing but fuck for days.
TJ—damn him—had called it. I was scared. Not of Jacob but of the feelings he stirred in me and the consequences they could have. I was scared of being unable to keep up with my responsibilities. I couldn’t fail. People’s lives were at stake. My brothers were counting on me.
They also want to help you. They want to see you happy.
I put the horse back in her stall and gave her some hay.
As I neared the house, my whole body vibrated with tension. The ride hadn’t been enough. I still didn’t know how to choose between Jacob and my responsibilities. I couldn’t risk being distracted, but dammit, I couldn’t let him go either.
You knew you weren’t going to let him go when you insisted he stay here.
Jacob was waiting for me when I reached the back deck. He was sitting in a chair in pajama pants and an old t-shirt, a mug of coffee at his side, his phone in his hand.
When he looked up and I saw concern in his eyes, I had my answer. Jacob was mine. Nothing was going to change that.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
“Didn’t Rhys or Rogue tell you I was going to be late because I was doing all the chores?”
“Yes, but I didn’t think it would be this late. I was just about to call Rogue when you came in. I wanted to go with him to look for you.”
The thought of Jacob out there in the dark, searching for me, vulnerable to anyone who wanted to cause trouble, made my stomach churn. “I told you not to leave the—”
“Then don’t worry me like that.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. You should have just gone to bed.”
“No, I shouldn’t have. You… you matter too, you know.” He squeezed his eyes shut and clasped his hands together to stop them from shaking.
“Jacob, look at me.”
My heart pounded as I waited for him to do as I’d asked. There was so much I should say, but I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to touch him, to give us both the comfort we needed.
“Come here,” I said when he finally looked at me.
He shook his head. “I should just go.”
“No. Come here right now.”
Jacob’s eyes widened. My tone was harsh and demanding. He didn’t look frightened, though. Just like before, he looked turned on.
He stood and slowly walked toward me. Once he was within reach, I took hold of his upper arms and dragged him closer. I had lost all patience. There was so much need built up in me, and it was ready to explode.