“Are you planning to tell him, or should I?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if we should tell him? Are you kidding me?” Ashley accused.
Fear engulfed me at the mention of that night at the restaurant almost four months ago. I knew she respected my wishes about not telling anyone. But this was her brother, and if she thought it affected him, what right did I have to continue to ask her to keep my secret?
“No, I just…” I paused. Ashley was his sister, but me telling him anything about Sarah just screamed jealous ex-girlfriend. “Technically, Ash, that all went down almost a month before anyone heard they were dating. So unless she’s lying about how far along she is…” My stomach dropped every time I had to say those words. “I still don’t understand why he started seeing her in the first place.”
Neither one of us had dated anyone since the summer we broke up, so it was a shock when I first heard that he was seeing someone we both worked with. Every time I saw them together at The Dock, and every time I watched his hand caress hers, I was reminded of what I had lost.
“If I had to guess… Sarah was aggressive, pursued him, and he gave in to avoid dealing with his feelings for you.” She directed her focus to Brendan as she said, “Isn’t that right, little man? Ett is a dumb-dumb.”
“Ett?” Brendan looked around excitedly.
“Stop it, Ashley. I keep telling you he doesnothave feelings for me anymore. He made it perfectly clear that summer that he didn’t want a relationship. And especially not one involving Caden and his child.”
“Well, yeah, because you gave him an ultimatum and, like typical Rhett, he panicked and ran with his tail between his legs.”
Wow. She was in rare form today. “Idid notgive him an ultimatum!”
“What were your exact words?” she asked with a victorious smirk.
“All I said was that he needed to understand that if he committed to a relationship with me, that meant co-parenting with Caden.” I’d known the animosity that sat between the two of them, and I wasn’t sure Rhett could put that aside.
“Bull—” she began, but glanced at Brendan and then back to me before continuing with, “—ships. That night when you were moving all your stuff into my apartment, you said you told him he needed to decide whether he was all in. I get why you did it. You were scared, and it was probably easier to deal with being the one to push him away versus him deciding to walk away on his own.”
He was always going to walk away. It was inevitable. Everyone leaves.
After Caden decided he wanted to be involved with the baby, I chose to move out of my dad’s place in Asheville where I had been crashing since my college graduation. I gave in to Ashley’s demand to move in with her. I love my dad, but he worked a lot, and I would have had no support system if I stayed in Asheville.
“Can you imagine if I hadn’t taken your mom up on her offer right after Brendan was born? Neither one of us would have gotten any sleep in that small apartment together.” I laughed, remembering how tough Brendan was as a baby.
“Did you just change the subject?” Ashley nudged my foot playfully.
“Yup,” I said with a half smile.
“Well, I’m not done, because you need to hear this. You need to understand why he walked away. Think about how you would feel if he said that to you right now. Make a split-second decision to be with him and deal with Saraheveryday and raise a baby that’s not yours.”
I didn’t think I would hesitate about being with him and helping him raise his child, but yeah, dealing with Saraheveryday would not have been a walk in the park.
“I don’t blame him.” I let my toes dig into the sand to keep myself from looking at her. “I get it. I know it wouldn’t be an easy decision for anyone to make. I should have given him more time to consider.”
“He’s never said this to anyone, but I think he changed his mind. He was just too chicken shit to tell you.”
“Yeah, right.” I sighed.
“Please, why else did he follow you around like a lovesick puppy dog that whole first year after you had Brendan? I think he was showing you he was ready, and either you were too tired or too blind to see it.”
“I don’t know… part of me thinks he still blames me for sleeping with Caden.”
“Well, you did kiss Rhett that day, then sleep with Caden that night.”
I winced and rubbed my forehead. “Yeah, I know. But the way Rhett acted at the party made it clear we weren’t even close to starting a relationship. Do you blame me?”
Ashley shook her head, and a peaceful silence fell. Then she shifted and cleared her throat.
“I’ve asked you this a million times and you always dodge the question. Why exactlydidyou sleep with Caden that night? Was it just to get back at Rhett for his behavior? It’s been three years, and I haven’t pushed, but are you ever going to tell me?”