“No. I want a baby.”
There were few moments in my life I could say I was speechless, but this was without a doubt one of them. As the smoke of her explosive statement settled, words began to form. “You’re living in a hovel with a man who can’t keep a job. You don’t work and you want a kid.”
“Don’t you see? A child will show Lip that he has purpose.”
The proverbial pieces of the puzzle were dropping into place.
“You think I’ll fuck you?” Despite my better sense, my statement did come out as a question.
“No.” She lifted her hand. “Lip would never approve.”
“No shit.”
“I thought maybe in vitro. You know…you supply the…”
“Why aren’t you having this conversation with him?”
“Because he…don’t you understand how upsetting it would be for him to realize that he can’t.”
“Can’t get it up. There are little blue pills for that.”
“It’s not that. He can’t produce a child.”
“Do you know that?” I asked.
“I know that in the last five years, I’ve never been on birth control.”
“Maybe you don’t fuck enough.” This conversation was bordering on the absurd. “Maybe it’s genetic. I don’t exactly have a litter of kids.”
Madison’s voice lowered. “You can. I know you can.”
My fingers curled into fists as my nostrils flared. “What the fuck did you say?”
Her eyes widened as she took a step away. “Van, don’t be mad.”
Mad.
Mad wasn’t even close to the emotion I felt.
“What the fuck did you say?” I repeated louder than before. “How do you know I can?”
“I was pregnant.”
Pregnant.
Madison was pregnant.
“When?”
“When I went to Texas. I didn’t…you didn’t…we weren’t ready. Lena would have been upset…”
In two strides I was upon her, my hands gripping her shoulders. “What did you do, Madison?”
She lifted her chin. “I did what was right forme.” She took a breath. “Lip doesn’t know.”
“Who knew?”
“Olivia. It was why she invited me down to Texas. She said she’d help.”