I lifted my hand from Thomar’s arm and covered him once more with the sheet. Varin watched me but did not move, not even when I walked to stand directly before him, my breasts pressed to his body. I looked from his face down to the collar he still held in his hand. “I need to understand, Varin. I need to feel what you feel.”
“No. It will cause you extreme pain. I am a male of honor. I will not ask you to suffer.”
“I’m not asking for permission.” I pulled the innocuous looking black ribbon from his hand and held his gaze as I did so. He could have stopped me, yet he chose not to. He wanted this, too. I stepped back, just a bit. Placed the collar across my palms. Studied it. “This is too big for any human to wear. Way too big.” I figured it would go around my neck twice, or close to it.
“The collar’s size adjusts automatically once placed.” His voice cracked, and I noticed his hand shook. Was he frightened? In pain? I wanted to know. I needed to know.
I held his gaze as I lifted both ends of the collar up toward my neck. “Varin?”
“Yes, my lady?”
“I’m not going to choose another mate. I’m keeping Thomar. I’m keeping you, too. You are my second. Do you understand?” The ends of the collar touched behind my neck, and I released them as they moved of their own accord, shrinking to encircle my throat, heating against my skin. It felt like melted butter was sinking into my flesh.
“I should not allow you to do this.”
“But you will. Because you want to save him, too.”
“He is the most honorable warrior I know. He deserves a mate. He has suffered more than most could endure.”
“Then let’s save him together.”
“How? I have tried everything to reach him. To relieve his pain.”
I smiled even as my mind began to fill with pain that rivalled an instant migraine. I ignored it, knew it wasn’t my pain but a mere fraction of Thomar’s. Of Varin’s. Now it was mine, too, the collars linking the three of us together as we should be, as mates.
Yes, it hurt. I knew somehow that they suffered much worse, that they were protecting me from the worst of it, even now. I took a moment to breathe through it, make peace with the pounding inside my skull. Accept the pain as part of myself.
So what if I had a headache? If my muscles began to burn and tingle? If my bones ached as if they had steel levers trying to bend them from the inside. I’d been in pain before. Many, many times. I knew how to ignore it. How to use it.
Closing the distance between us, I pressed my body to Varin’s heat. I dropped the black sheet to the floor to stand before him naked. Smiling in invitation, I found his hard cock with one hand and then squeezed him through the uniform pants.
“Have you tried fucking your mate?”
“By the gods, female, you do not know what you ask. I will not be gentle.”
“I don’t care. Fuck me. Fill me up. Make me come. Feel me around you.” I squeezed his hard length, rubbed the tip with my thumb. “Touch me. Feel something good for once. Maybe that will change his mind.”
Thomar groaned and I knew I was going to get at least one hard cock stretching me open, making me writhe and moan and ache. Since the moment I’d been in that testing chair, my body had developed a mind of its own. The greedy bitch wanted both of them, but for now Varin would be enough.
“Danika.” Varin leaned down, his lips hovering above mine. His hot breath fanned my cheeks, and I realized his eyes were even more stunning, more beautiful than I’d realized.
My name coming from his lips made my heart ache in my chest. No one had ever said my name like that, like he longed for me, would suffer and die if he didn’t touch me.
“Kiss me.”
“There will be no turning back. I will never let you go.”
What he meant as a warning soothed an empty place in my soul, anchored a part of my heart that had been drifting for a very long time. “Varin.” Pushing up on my tiptoes, I kissed him gently. “Take off your clothes.”
Varin did as I asked, stripping quickly as I watched. He was magnificent. Dark. Muscled. His body was covered in a patchwork of the geometric silver symbols, perhaps half as many as Thomar carried. He straightened to his full height, his huge cock hard and straining to reach me.
My pussy clenched around empty space, and I squeezed my thighs together in an effort to find some relief. “Varin.” I didn’t recognize the husky sound of my voice, the need, the pure raw lust taking over my body. I did nothing to lessen the need, hoping Varin would sense what I desired through the collars.
Moving quickly, Varin stepped forward and lifted me into his arms, my thighs coming to rest on his forearms. We collided as he claimed my mouth in a kiss that curled my toes, had my fingers digging into his hair. I wrapped my legs around his hips and wiggled, searching for his cock, wanting him inside me. Now. It was as if I’d been overheated from hours of foreplay since the moment I’d taken that damn matching test.
I was in pain—their pain. And I burned for them. For Varin. For the vision I’d had in that testing chair. The combination overloaded my system, all thought gone. I was a thing. A greedy, hungry, lustful creature, the pain I felt blending with need. Desperate. Ravenous. Impatient.
The collars worked some kind of magic. It was like I could feel my fingers pressing into my own shoulders, knew the pleasure Varin experienced at my touch. His mind was a whirling chaos of agony from both Thomar and his own engorged cock, the two merging into one overpowering need to fuck me. Find release.