“When it is time to take a mate, the beast takes control and becomes unmanageable without a mate. A beast in mating fever, with no mate to ease him, means death for an Atlan.”
“What? You actually die from this fever?” God, no. That sounded horrible. What kind of backward place had Warden Egara sent me to?
He paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “Without a mate, our beasts are beyond our ability to control. They become destructive. Dangerous. Unmated males in that state are executed.”
“What?” He did not just say what I—
“And arousal. Arousal will awaken the beast.” He listed all of those items like ticking off checkboxes. Anger. Fever. Arousal. The last bothered me.
“Arousal. You mean attraction to a female can summon your beast? Even if you’re not in mating fever?”
He nodded once. “Yes. Although our beasts’ response is strongest for a mate.”
“That’s me,” I said. For once in this whole process, I felt unsure. Less than adequate. If I really was perfect for him, as Warden Egara had promised, he should be reacting to me. Wanting me. Turning into his beast so he could shove me up against the wall and… Umm, yeah. No. Don’t finish that thought, CJ. Down that road is trouble.
I bit my lip and stared up at him. Everything about him made my body feel starved for his touch. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. Taste his lips. Nibble on his skin. Feel his strong arms around me, his body behind me, over me, in me. Him. I wanted him, and I hadn’t been hot for a guy in a long, long time. Maybe never. Not like this.
But him? Nothing. He stared at me like he was trying to break bad news to a little girl. An unattractive child whom he had no interest in. And wasn’t that just a bitch? “So, I guess I don’t arouse you?” Might was well call a spade a spade.
“Ah, Caroline, do not belittle yourself. I am trying to explain this to you. You are beautiful.” He lifted his free hand to my cheek, stroked his fingers through my hair. “I am broken.”
“You’re the one who said a mate should arouse your beast.”
“Exactly,” he countered.
“But I don’t.”
“You don’t, not because I don’t think you’re the most desirable female in the universe, but because the Hive broke me. Don’t you see? I’m broken. I can’t give you what you need.”
“So, you’re saying you’ll never have sex with me?” I was blunt. I’d always been that way, and I had no intention of stopping now. A missing beast? No problem. I could live without a beast. But a lifetime in a marriage to an alien with no sex? I felt robbed. He was so big. And alpha. And smoking hot. Muscles everywhere. His muscles had muscles. I finally find a guy who made me feel small and feminine, and he tells me that he won’t touch me? Unacceptable. Seriously. I was going to have words with Warden Egara the next time I saw her.
“I cannot be your mate, Caroline. I am broken.”
Broken record. Sheesh. He was huge. Strong. His entire body was lined with weapons. Guns. Knives. He looked like a seven-foot tall Navy SEAL on steroids. If he couldn’t fight, then monkeys were going to fly out of my— “So as your mate, it is my job to bring about arousal and anger in your beast.”
“It’s not your job.” He ran his hand through his hair, clearly agitated. I seemed to have that affect on males from every planet. “No. It’s just supposed to happen naturally.”
Great. I’d been on this planet five minutes. All I’d seen was the inside of a windowless room and a hulk of a mate. And we were both just standing here feeling like complete and utter failures. I was supposed to be sexy. Desirable. He was supposed to take one look at me and lose his freaking mind, bend me over a table and grab my hips, pull me back…
No. Not going there.
Too late. My pussy was wet. His hands were huge, and I couldn’t stop staring as the matching dream came back to me, playing in my mind over and over like a broken record. I knew what those hands would feel like holding me down. Knew how his cock would stretch me. The way I’d shatter in his arms. I knew...
He sniffed, as if he could smell my arousal, his eyes going dark. I was ridiculously good at reading men. I’d dealt with them on a daily—no, hourly basis—and except for the small blip where I was arrested for insider trading, I was pretty good at getting my way.
And right now, I wanted what I’d been promised in that testing chair. Hot, hungry sex with a bossy, dominant male. For real this time. Not just in my head.
This guy, Rezzer, the one I’d been matched to, was truly conflicted. He was pushing me away, not because he wanted to. No, he looked like he wanted me very much. He felt honor-bound to help me find a new mate because he was broken. Very badly. In a way I didn’t understand at all but knew it hurt him deeper than any flesh wound.
“Do you have to transform into this beast to fuck me?” I asked. “Can’t we just…you know.” I held my breath waiting for his answer. I didn’t need a beast. But I did need a man willing to touch me.
His breathing changed, just barely, but I heard it. Saw the way the lines around his mouth tightened. The beast that was supposedly dead or dormant or hurt or subdued or something by the Hive? He was still in there. I knew it. Gut instinct told me he was in there. This perceived weakness was temporary.
The real question was, did I want this guy? Did I want him enough to fight for him, for us? Just a little while ago I’d told Warden Egara I didn’t have to like my mate. I just wanted off of Earth. Well, that was accomplished. I definitely wasn’t on Earth anymore. She’d told me there was no going back. So I’d get a mate. If not this one, another.
But the heart I’d thought too jaded to hope refused to let him go. I couldn’t just let him escort me to the doctor so I could get a “better” mate. Not happening. The testing said he was the one. The. One. I owed it to myself to see if the program was right. Besides, if anyone was going to push his buttons, make him lose his temper and turn into a raging beast? Hell, annoying arrogant men was my specialty.
He was mine. And now that I’d decided to keep him, it was time for a new approach. So, I’d arouse him. Anger him. I could do that. I’d pissed off enough men on Wall Street to know exactly what to do. The goal with guys was to get them to think they had all the ideas when it was your plan all along. Rezzer was the farthest thing possible from a Wall Street executive. I just had to hope that male psychology worked the same here as it did back home.