“He doesn’t.” Emmett reclaimed his mug. “He said he hoped we were happy.”
He took a drink, aware that the conversation was on hold. A glance at his wife’s unreadable expression proved him right.
“Are you...?” He paused, not sure he wanted an answer. “Happy?”
She leaned forward and put her hand on his arm. “Yes.”
So trusting. So beautiful. And all his.
For now.
“You okay?” he asked when Stefanie’s eyes filled with concern.
“No. I mean, yes.” She pulled her hand away and folded her hands in her lap. She blew out a breath, her eyes on the crumbs on the table in front of her.
“Stef?”
She met his eyes and blurted out, “I’m in love with you.”
His world stopped on a dime, the restaurant fading into the background, the world canting to one side like an earthquake had opened the ground beneath them.
“My feelings for you tipped into L-word territory a while ago. I was waiting to tell you until the right moment. I guess that’s now,” she mumbled at the edge of her mug. “It’s not like it’s going away.”
“Stefanie.”
“I know.” She closed her eyes. “I know.”
At the idea of this being more—of having more—every part of him bristled. He couldn’t love her the way she needed to be loved—the way she deserved to be loved. His past was dark, the cracks filled in with loss and distance. He couldn’t ask her to be a permanent part of his life.
Stefanie was life. Life and verve and wealth. She was Ferguson royalty. Emmett...wasn’t.
Even as he resisted, his mind played a motion picture of what it could mean to love his wife—a wife who loved him.
Them living in his town house or a house that they bought together. A daughter with blond ringlets, a son who would never know the meaning of neglect. Making love to Stefanie in the morning. Making love to Stefanie in the evening. Showering her with affection and gifts and serving at her pleasure...
But then he considered the rest of her family. Chase had warned Emmett not to let her get too close. How far would he take it when he learned how Stef felt? Would the mayor fire his head of security? And if Emmett lost his job, then what would he do? He wouldn’t let Stefanie support both of them.
The idea of being a husband who didn’t live up to his responsibilities, who was unable to provide for his wife—was abhorrent.
Even if he acknowledged his dormant feelings—even if he uncovered that he felt a dangerous combination of love and respect for her alongside the terror of losing her—he would ignore those feelings.
He’d ignore what he felt for her because she deserved better than the pittance he could offer.
He’d made a habit of living in the present. He didn’t look back. He didn’t look forward. And presently, they had a marriage based on convenience and a hell of a lot of attraction.
That was it.
His big heart suffered another fissure knowing he’d have to let her go. Knowing that for him, goodbye would leave another permanent scar of loss in his soul. But he had plenty of memories. He’d forever be grateful for the time he’d spent with her.
That, as much as it ached him to the bone, would have to be enough.
Her husband had turned to stone at her announcement. Emmett glared at his cooling coffee as if attempting to heat it with laser vision.
She’d considered keeping the fact that she loved him to herself, but she was tired of keeping things to herself. She was tired of playing it safe where he was concerned. She’d let her brother’s election hold her back—let it keep her from doing what she really wanted for long enough.
Emmett had stepped way out of his comfort zone to contact his dad about her. And then he’d told her that she was important, and by the time he’d made vows to protect the Ferguson fortune and her well-being... Well, she’d been swept up.
Clarity blew in like a fierce storm. She finally knew what she wanted. And what she wanted was to stay married.