“Happy is an elusive animal for me. But this…I like this.” A droplet fell from the faucet and hit the bathwater with a splash. Eli linked his free hand with hers and crossed both her arms over her breasts as he enclosed her in a hug. His voice was deep and reverent, vibrating against the shell of her ear when he said, “I like you, Isa.”
I like you.Her heart suffered a tiny fissure at that pronouncement, because while it wasn’t bad news, it wasn’t the extent of what she felt for him.
“I should hope you like me.” After making love to her against the wall…Another thought zapped her brain and this time it tumbled out of her mouth uncensored. “We weren’t making like in there.”
Eli breathed a long, low sigh. Isa kept her arms folded, trying to imagine his facial expression. Dread? Anger?
“No,” he finally agreed. “We weren’t.”
The faucet dripped again. Eli’s hands found her shoulders and massaged gently. He was trying to be kind, or maybe he was attempting consolation, but either way it frustrated her. He only gave as much as he wanted; then he retreated. She shrugged his hands away and started to stand, but Eli cupped her breasts and pulled her back against his chest.
His beard brushed her shoulder, lips kissing her shoulder.
“Sable.”
“What?” She could absolutely throttle her heart. Didn’t it know any better than to fall for a man who was as emotionally inaccessible as Eli Crane?
Eli turned her so she was on her side and facing him. Breasts pressed to his chest, her own arm captive against her body, she surrendered when he dipped his lips to kiss her. By the time their tongues were gently exploring, she was measuring his heartbeats against her own.
Too soon, she lost the heat of his mouth. He studied her face before speaking, a completely forlorn expression on his own. When he spoke, it was a plea.
“Give me time.”
If she wasn’t sure she was in love with him before, she was sure now. Because learning he was still holding back all but shattered her.
***
They were the only words he could push out of his throat, and saying them made him half sick. It wasn’t what Isa wanted to hear. Hell, he was sure it wasn’t what any woman wanted to hear. But it was his truth.
She wanted him to open and he’d opened as much as he was capable. Crystal had pointed out tonight that he had a problem with going all in. He hadn’t liked hearing it, but she hadn’t been wrong. He didn’t know how to go all in unless he started chipping away at it bit by bit. Maybe commitment was a lot like relearning to walk—it took practice.
The rest would come, or it wouldn’t. And he had no earthly idea if that meant Isa would leave him before he had a chance to clear out the shit in his head and be able to evaluate what they have. But he wanted to try. She deserved a real promise, not one he blurted out to smooth over an awkward moment.
“I’m here,” he told her, hoping that explanation sufficed. His fingertips stroked down her cheek and over her full bottom lip.
“I’m here, too,” she said.
He nearly collapsed with relief. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
They didn’t make any further promises. There were no accusations, no future plans. The moment was in perfect present tense.
Right now.
He could handle that.