“Merina,” he grumbled. She’d been the one who’d helped him shop for Isa’s clothes. He hadn’t told her the details about why he was replacing those specific items, only that he’d promised Isa he would.
When Merina had pushed, he’d brought up the doorknob she and Reese were always joking about and she shut up instantly. Eli didn’t want to know the story behind how that particular piece of hardware was intertwined with their love story.
Merina had also encouraged him to deliver the clothes himself. He hadn’t, of course. Somehow, with her female superpowers, she’d known. When he’d arrived tonight, Merina stepped directly in his path and asked how Isa was doing. When he’d replied he didn’t know, she’d accused him of being too careful. She wasn’t wrong, which made him angry.
“Long story short? Merina offered to help me pick out a gift for Isa, only I had it delivered instead of taking it myself. Merina told me I was too careful.”
Tag’s face pinched. “You didn’t take it yourself?”
Eli’s next breath sounded more like a growl. “Careful is an insult. She may as well call me a wimp.”
“Well. You are.” Tag smiled and raised his shot to his lips, knowing that Eli couldn’t punch him in the arm for the quip. They may be in the shadows, but the surrounding tables were packed with guests.
A woman peered over her shoulder at them now. Eli sent her a curt smile before turning his attention back to his brother. “I stepped in it with Isa.”
“I know that, too.”
Eli sighed. “Do you think it’s simpler than we make it?”
Tag nodded. “I do. Whatever we’re nervous about losing is found in what we have been avoiding.”
“Deep,” Eli said, but Tag nailed it. Eli had attempted to avoid the pain of losing Isa and then lost her anyway.
“Catch twenty-two,” Tag murmured.
“I never went to her, and I should have. I held back.” God, that phrase fucking haunted him.
“Why didn’t you go to her, E? Did you decide she wasn’t worth it?”
“No. Fuck no.” He scrubbed his forehead, wanting to explain but not knowing how. Tag continued waiting, so Eli gave it a try. “It’s like…my head is muddy whenever I try and think about what she means to me. When she’s gone, my arms and heart are empty—cavernous. Whenever she was around, my breathing went shallow and my chest caved in.”
“I know the feeling.” Tag smirked.
“I wanted to be certain—completely certain—about how I felt about her before I made promises. I don’t want her to have less than she deserves.” Eli dropped his hands in his lap and blew out a frustrated breath.
“You’re in love,” Tag stated with such certainty that Eli’s heart skipped a beat, then kicked his chest with twice the force.
“I don’t know what love is,” Eli said numbly.
Tag let out one of his heartier laughs. “What you described is exactly what love is, E.” He shook his head. “The not knowing, the uncertainty. The nausea. That feeling of fullness and lightness at the same time.”
“So you’re saying it’s a lot like public speaking,” Eli quipped.
Tag looked nauseous at the mention of it. “Kind of.”
“…my brother, Eli Crane,” Reese introduced, and everyone in the room began clapping.
“Well, that’s inconvenient,” Eli said, standing and buttoning his tuxedo jacket.
“You’re up.” Tag slapped him on the back. “Give your acceptance speech and try not to cry.”
***
After a brief speech, Eli stood with his brothers and father sipping scotch. He’d thanked his family and his country and assured everyone he had big plans for running operations at Crane Hotels. When he told the crowd to hang on because they ain’t seen nothin’ yet, everyone erupted in whistles and applause.
Once they quieted down, he thanked Christopher and Benji, too, and asked everyone in attendance to consider donating to Refurbs for Vets. Then he stepped down, accepted a glass of scotch from his father, and mingled with the fray.
Eli didn’t love scotch, but now that he was a corporate man in charge, it felt right to hold a drink poured into a sturdy rocks glass.