“Lose the attitude,” my father warned.
I pressed my lips together.
“You shouldn’t have to finish college for a degree you no longer desire,” Mom said. “I know you went into law because you and Brooke were high school sweethearts. You followed her around like a puppy.”
“No, I didn’t.” I sulked. I did, but it was humiliating to think about the way I used to be. Though, when I thought about the way I’d treated Tasha, I considered I hadn’t turned out much better.
“You followed Brooke to college,” my mom continued. “How were you supposed to know at age eighteen what you wanted for the rest of your life? How is anyone supposed to make a decision and stick with it when so many things change?”
All true. I wasn’t anything like the wide-eyed kid who believed Brooke was my whole future. Hell, I wasn’t even like the guy I was when I crashed my Audi. So much had changed. Around me. Inside me.
“You were brokenhearted,” my mom said next. “And you should have been. Brooke left you in a horrible position. You truly burned the ships when you professed your love to her. There was no turning back for you. When you commit, Caden, you commit.”
That wasn’t…entirely true.
She didn’t know about the string of one-night stands that followed Brooke’s pregnancy announcement, but there were some things moms were better off not knowing.
“I was afraid that stubborn streak would last forever with your speech,” she continued. “But I can feel how strong you are right now. You have arrived at a decision you believe in.” Her hand rested on my forearm. “I’m proud of you.”
My mind went to Tasha and I cringed. I didn’t know what I thought of the decision I’d made to walk away from her. Then I realized my mother was talking about my college plans—or lack thereof.
“Miller, Brian, and Carey bought the building without me. I thought I cared. I thought I was jealous.” I reconsidered, listening to the second hand on the clock over the stove tick three times. “Maybe I am a little jealous. But I don’t want what they have. It makes me remember who I was and who I’m not anymore, and it…sucks.”
“I should have heard you out, Cade,” my dad said. “I had a rough day and I called to spout off to your mother, and then she offered to come by and talk. And then…”
“Spare me the details.” I held up a hand.
My parents exchanged smiles.
I stood from the table, but I wasn’t angry. “I need to think. I can’t do that here. I’m going to go for a drive.”
“Cade,” Mom started.
“I’ll be safe. I haven’t had anything to drink tonight.” Except for Tasha. I’d been drunk on her for months and knew I could look forward to the hangover of a lifetime.
“Okay,” Mom said. “I’ll…I might be here in the morning.”
“You will.” Dad’s hand closed over hers and my heart swelled. I loved them both. I wanted them whole, together. Loving each other. I wanted it more than I had ever acknowledged. My father addressed me next. “What I should have said earlier, what I am telling you now, is that you should only fight for the things you want in your heart.”
“Everything else will fall into place.” Mom looked at my father the way she used to. All admiration and smiles. “In time.”
I palmed my neck, my throat full. I was feeling overly emotional after the events of the evening, which made me feel out of control. I didn’t like it. “Second thought, I’m, uh…I’m going to go to bed.”
Fatigue slammed into me like a brick wall. I didn’t want to think anymore. I wanted to sleep off the emotions accosting me. I wanted my bed, wanted to hold on to my pillow as well as the idea of my parents asleep in the same house. “See you in the morning.”
“I’ll make pancakes,” Dad said. Just like the old days.
Before I went upstairs, I leaned over the table and pressed a kiss to Joyce’s forehead. “Love you, Mom.”
Then I walked out before the tears started falling.
If she lost it, I’d blubber like a baby.