Chapter 10
Cade
Blue 2 was running like a dream. Now that I had everything the way I wanted under the hood, I could start fixing her on the outside. Repair those rust spots, give her a new paint job, then…the fun part. The chrome and leather interior. Fuzzy dice and a linked-chain steering wheel if I was so inclined. My mouth damn near watered at the vision.
I gunned the engine, tooling around town with Blue 2’s top down until Tasha was done with school and came over for our session. I wondered if we’d do more kissing today and decided if she’d let me, I’d start there.
She was irresistible when she was having trouble resisting me.
I probably shouldn’t, but I had time to kill, so I turned left at a traffic light and drove into a familiar part of town—the business district. I hung a right at the four-way stop on Poplar and then turned left on Claire, pulling to a stop in front of the building I once believed would be mine.
Not strictly mine. Ours. In our freshman year, Miller, Brian, Carey, and I had sat in the empty bank parking lot across the street drinking whiskey directly from a bottle wrapped in the liquor-store paper bag. We’d discussed living upstairs as soon as we attained our bachelor’s degrees, then setting up shop after completing law school. “Work your life and live your work” had been our motto.
I parked along the curb, resting my wrist on the steering wheel and imagining my name on one of the office doors inside. I wanted that. Or the idea of that, anyway. Now I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Guess it didn’t matter. I was stuck with what I didn’t want.
Except that’s bullshit.
Yeah, I guessed it was. If I had something I didn’t want, changing it was as simple and as difficult as, well…changing it. I never believed I’d speak a clear syllable again, yet I’d uttered several in the last few weeks with Tasha, hadn’t I?
I sank down in my seat, even though the top was up, when the front door swung open from the inside. Hand partially covering my face, I watched Carey step out, Miller behind him. They propped open the door and Brian came out, and then the three of them went to a large moving truck and unloaded a wide, flat cardboard box. Like one big, happy family. Envy, or maybe jealousy, or maybe good old-fashioned bitterness leaked into my bloodstream.
Judging by the shape and size of the box, it was a desk. Some assembly required. Miller couldn’t put together a LEGO set. Which was why he needed me. I could have put that thing together with one hand tied behind my back. Maybe you could get a maintenance job with them, then.
I ground my teeth at the thought. I was beginning to hate that voice. Lately I’d felt like I had both hands tied behind my back. I was no longer going to be a part of what we’d sat and dreamed up that night long ago, and the sooner I accepted it, the better. I eased Blue 2 down the street and raced home with one person on my mind.
Tasha.
The second I saw her, I was going to get a healthy dose of “oral therapy” from her. She was the only person who could take away the constricting feeling in my chest.
And I was going to let her.
Tasha
Cade’s tongue, warm and wet in the best way, stroked mine. Everything in my body heated on contact.
I’d rapped on the door in the garage that led to his bedroom, but instead of calling for me to come up, he met me in the garage. Then he pushed my back against the wall, pressed my arms overhead, and kissed me for all he was worth.
I didn’t argue. Instead, I looped my arms around his neck once he let me go and accepted his assault. After a few minutes of hot and heavy, his pelvis and mine rubbing and gyrating, he’d chased me up the stairs to his room, swatting my butt on the way.
I’d been in Cade’s childhood bedroom a hundred times but in this one only a few times. It was technically an extension of the house, but it felt and acted like an apartment, private and contained.
Being here with him now that we’d crossed so many lines felt significant, but also safe. I knew he wouldn’t go further than I wanted. But that wasn’t the problem, was it? The problem was how far I wanted to go.
Weirdly enough, I felt like we’d been dating since our eyes first met in his hospital room after his accident. Or maybe sooner: the moment I’d left my friends on Alley Road and chased the ambulance with Cade in it. Since that fateful night, Cade and I had become fixtures in each other’s lives. I thought he was an asshole back then but I couldn’t escape the need to help when I worried he had no one who cared.
He kissed me now, but he was less frantic than before. More careful. He sat on the edge of his bed and pulled me onto his lap, his feet firmly on the floor. His hands hadn’t strayed into tingly territory but were getting closer. My heart stuttered when one palm grazed my skin beneath the cotton of my shirt.
I sucked in a breath and pulled my lips from his.
“Let me touch you,” he whispered against my lips.
Inside I cheered, not only because I wanted him to touch me but because he’d spoken so clearly. He was calm. He was in control. Those were the two best factors for his speech. Mentioning it would be a major faux pas, so I didn’t. His fingertips danced over my stomach and my abdominal muscles clenched.
I immediately forgot about speech lessons.
He flattened his hand on the small of my back, his tongue moving along mine. Boundaries had been tested on the couch last week, and now he wanted to know what I was okay with. I answered by sliding my tongue along his and grabbing the side of his neck to pull his mouth closer. His kisses were drugging. When he was kissing me, I forgot who I was, what we were supposed to be doing, and that we’d ever not liked each other.
Fingers tickled along the front of my stomach, and I tensed when he drew circles on my rib cage. He was testing how far I’d let him go, and to be honest, I hadn’t figured that out yet.