“Oh. You know you’re always welcome. Do you want to tell me what happened?” Mercy rested a hand on Susan’s knee.
“Not yet. I need time.” Susan saw Mercy’s brow furrow. “Nothing bad. Not that bad. But I need to process.” She had no idea how, but she’d figure it out. “Thank you for coming to get me at— Holy wow. Is it really three in the morning?”
“Of course. You’ll be more careful next time, won’t you?” Mercy clamped her jaw shut and frowned. “I didn’t mean it like that. You shouldn’t have to be. Whatever happened wasn’t your fault.”
“I know.” Susan didn’t believe it, though, and her sister’s slip added to the doubt. When they got inside Mercy and Ian’s house, Susan mumbled goodnight and stumbled off to her part-time room.
She fell into bed without taking off her clothes. The soft quilt and feather pillow hugged her, and the scent of fabric softener squeezed with comfort. For a moment, her head felt like it might roll away, but equilibrium returned quickly. She expected to sleep for ages, based on the exhaustion raking her bones.
She rolled onto her side and watched the shadows warp and twist across the textured wall and bleed into the burgundy accent. Snippets of the evening popped in and out of her mind, but not the ones she expected. Instead of terrifying her, the conversations with Andrew kept her company; his compassion, irritation, and sense of humor.
She flopped onto her back and studied the vaulted ceiling, trying to make out where the apex vanished in the shadows. As night gave way to the gray of the oncoming morning, she couldn’t get the thoughts of Andrew out of her head. Her knight in shining armor was her sister’s porn-friend. The guy who helped Mercy shed her inhibitions and discover what life was really about when she was Susan’s age.
It wasn’t the first time Susan wished she could live that experience without having to surrender her friends and family—she could never abandon this life without caring, the way Mercy had—but the thought hit harder and lingered longer tonight. It would be nice to find a friend like Andrew, without having to go to South America to do so.