Then I didn’t make the football team, and she pretended she didn’t know me. A poor art dork like me, what could I possibly offer a girl like her?
My brother, though, he had lots to offer. She didn’t turn her nose up at him. She joined his fucking fan parade. I’ve never quite forgiven him for that.
But now that I have Rae, maybe I will.
“She follows money, status, power,” I go on. “If Maddox didn’t have a reputation or a football jersey, she wouldn’t give him the time of day. Now that we’re graduating, his football god status won’t matter, so I guess he had to get a car to keep her attention.”
“Yeah, but where?” she asks.
I pick up my doughnut and bite off a piece, though heaviness sinks into me when I face what I’ve suspected for a while. “Remember when I said Maddox doesn’t care about anyone but himself?”
She swallows and pulls a half-full bottle of Diet Coke from her backpack, and I remember I was supposed to get coffee too. She’s too sweet to complain, though. “Yeah…”
I turn in the seat to face her. “There’s been conflict in the Skull and Crossbones organization for a while,” I say. “Lately there’s even talk about it breaking up. As part of that, we’re affected.”
“So… They gave Maddox a car to get him to stay?”
I shake my head. “It’s not just a Crow problem. We started the crew to help the neighborhood, but some people... They’d rather help themselves. That’s what the whole argument has come down to. Half of the members want to better the community, help people. The other wants to make money. And there’s one quick and dirty way to do that.”
“Drugs,” she says, realization dawning. “That’s how Maddox got the pot. He said he hadconnections.”
I nod, even though I know they’re not moving drugs. If she thinks that’s worse than the truth, I’ll take whatever advantage I can. They’re doing something illegal either way. What does it matter if it’s drugs or hot cars?
“The Crows have always landed on the cleaner, more law-abiding side of the argument—now that side is pulling away, calling themselves the Crossbones. The Skull side says money is the way to take care of people, so it starts with the money. But we all know once you introduce drugs into it, the neighborhood’s not just going to get the money. They’re going to get the drugs. I joined to take care of people, to help neighborhood kids, not get them hooked on crack. Getting into that business won’t save us. It’ll destroy us. And they know that. They’re just using that argument as an excuse to line their own pockets and buy themselves fancy cars.”
Rae sets down her half-eaten doughnut, looking sick. “Maddox got that car from selling drugs?”
I nod. “Lo siento,mi querida. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I think so. That’s what he’s been doing the past week, where he’s been staying. With some supplier on the Skull side. I don’t know if the Murder of Crows is going to survive this, but if it does… Say you’ll be with me.”
Her hazel eyes search mine, flecks of emerald and gold shining in those complicated depths. She’s too sensitive, too complex, for my brother. I deserve a girl like that. He can have Scarlet and all the other sluts he fucks. Rae has been waiting for someone worthy, for her match.
And now she’s found me.
Waiting for her, proving myself worthy, will only make it that much sweeter when I break her. I’ll show her I’m more than a match for her. I’ll make her sorry she chose my brother over me, like she’s just some dumb bitch like Scarlet. I’ll make her see she’s better than that. And so am I.
I’ll build her up until she feels like a queen, and then I’ll tear her down piece by piece until she crawls like a dog and begs for mercy. Until she recognizes that I am superior to my brother. He may have more brute force, but that’s a finite power, bound by the laws of physics. My power is infinite, limited only by my imagination. I create reality as easily as art. I can create and destroy her reality until she doesn’t know what’s real and what’s illusion without asking me. She will be mine, bending to my will, dependent on me for her very sanity.
I take her hand in mine. “Are you with me, Rae?”
Finally, she nods. “I don’t want to be part of something that sells drugs to kids,” she says, dropping her gaze to the eight remaining doughnuts in the box between us. “But I don’t think I can go back home with you, Lennox.”
“Why not?” I demand.
She swallows and glances up at me. “He got pissed when I told him we might be together. Like, really pissed. I don’t think I should live in his house anymore.”
Fury builds inside me, but triumph winds through it. I knew he’d fucking implode when he found out. He thinks because we signed a contract and because I have morals, that I’ll stick to it even when he doesn’t. But he broke the contract, which means it no longer holds me, either. And he can’t fucking stand that I want her even after he ruined her. Now that he sees she’s desirable even after he took her virginity, he’ll want her back.
“You’re right,” I say. “He’s dangerous to us both now.”
“I’m sure he was exaggerating,” she says with a nervous laugh, like she can’t quite believe her own judgment. She’s already trying to convince herself she was wrong. He made it almost too easy for me, making her fall for him and then being a dick like he always does when he realizes feelings are involved.
He forgets other people have those.
That’s his mistake. I learned from the best, but I don’t make that mistake. I have feelings, so I never forget that part. That’s where the real power lies. I can see when someone’s vulnerable, when she’s ready for me.
I watch too, after all.
But I’m done being a spectator. I’m ready to play.