Laughter and tears threaten to choke me. “Because you told me to go away. You didn’t want me.”
“I didn’t mean it.” Hiccupping and shivering, her brows crinkle into that V. “I never meant it. I’ve always loved you. Always.”
I run my thumb across the stubborn wrinkle between her brows. “Why didn’t you say something, you silly girl?”
“Because I didn’t think you liked me back. Not the way I wanted. Then I got pregnant. I was so ashamed.”
“Why ashamed? Hey.” I pull her chin around to catch her gaze. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
I hold her hand as she sobs through another contraction. They’re coming closer and closer, not even a minute apart.
As soon as the pain subsides, she pants dramatically to catch her breath. “Because I was selfish. I was mad, because you never chose me. I was mad, I wanted to show you I was a woman, a desired woman; I wanted to force you to see me as a woman, not a tomboy little girl, so I went on a date with the first man who smiled at me.” She looks down the bed at her belly. “And look where that got me.”
“It got you exactly where you needed to be.” I mean it. I finally mean it. Bean was supposed to happen. “You wouldn’t trade him, would you?” My question is rhetorical, but she shakes her head anyway. “Exactly. Bean was meant to be here. He was meant to be ours. We can be a family Izzy.” Letting her hand go for only a moment, I reach into my pocket. “But I want you to know something; I always chose you, Bubs. Always. Every single day. Every single second of every day.” I hold the ring that I’ve carried in my pocket every single day for almost five years.
Picking this ring up after my shower tonight, even knowing I was going on a date with someone else, should’ve been my first clue that I wasn’t ready to move on. “We have a lot to work out, Bubs.” The least of which being the fact I’m still a fucking virgin. “But you kind of need to have our baby first, then we can iron out the details.” I smile when she stares at the ring pinched between my fingers. “I bought this for you almost five years ago, Bubs. I’ve always chosen you. I’m just sorry I didn’t say it out loud till now.”
“You love me?” She grunts through another painful contraction, but as soon as it recedes, even with panting breath and tears in her eyes, she’s back to business. “You love me? Like, a lover, not a sister?”
I nod.
“Do you promise?”
I laugh. But then I nod.
“I promise, Bubs. Tell me you love me. Then tell me you’ll marry me. Everything else can be figured out tomorrow.”
“I do love you, you dummy!”
Too close to the sun. It’s hot. And scary.
But I ask anyway. Because I need to know. “Will you marry me, Izzy? I promise to take you out on our first date as soon as we bust this popsicle stand.”
Iz nods. Silently, tearfully, she nods.
“Yes? Yes, you’ll marry me?”
“Yes. I’ll marry you. You should’ve asked me when you bought the ring. I would’ve said yes then, too.”
“I love you so much.” I lean forward to seal the deal with a kiss, but with a violent shove that surprises me with her strength, she leans over the edge of the bed and vomits all down my pants.
It smells like chicken curry and apple juice.
The nurse hands me a sick bag way too late. “Told you not to drink that juice too fast.”
I don’t even care. She said yes. She said yes to me, and now we’re here, in the hospital, and we’re having a baby. I push the dripping-with-vomit engagement ring onto her dripping-with-vomit finger, and smiling bigger than I ever have in my life, I press a kiss to her forehead. “You said yes. No takebacks.”
She looks up at me sheepishly, but another contraction squeezes her tight and reminds me the doctor still isn’t back with the fucking gas.
“We still have a little while to go.” The nurse bumps my hip with hers to read the probe machine reports. “Your hour barely just begun. Settle in, try to relax. Let your man distract you. I’ll be back shortly, then we can meet your baby.”
“You want me to rest?” Iz grunts through more pain. “I can’t. Fucking. Rest.”
The nursetut tutsand walks away. “Press the call button if you need anything. Or if you get the urge to poop. Otherwise, I’ll be back soon.”
Alone again, Iz’s eyes meet mine. “It hurts so much.”
Realizing I’ve been slumped over for a while when my lower back aches, I stand tall and stretch. “I know, Bubs. I’m sorry it hurts, it’ll be over soon.” I pop my joints and groan. “Ugh. My back’s sore.”